November 22, 2009

SARS: attempting to contain the epidemic

There is a distinct image of Charlie Weis walking, arm-in-arm with his team - Jimmy Clausen included - to failure. This image is more valuable than a D-Wade posterization of Anderson Varejapussy.

Anyway, I know what you're here for. You're here to rip on Wilt's Miss Cleo-like predictions. Hey, me too! Put on your SARS mask, 'cuz we about to fumigate this BITCH.



HEY WILT. GUESS WHAT? PARKINSON'S DISEASE IS ALIVE AND KICKING (albeit unintentionally, due to the seizures)! Javid Best's ghost literally took an ectoplasmic shit on Stanford. Toby "B-Rabbit" Gerhard ran harder than Shane Vereen. But a lot of heart patients don't make it, so hey kid, Toby graduated and probably went to law school, so Berkeley's overrated.

STANFORD over CAL - NO

Mark Mangino had a tough week. Welcome to the life of every fat person in Snickers rehab.  Diabetes approaches faster than an opposing linebacker toward Todd Reesing. Coach Mangino, I really don't hate you that much, but your last name is far too close to Mangini and, therefore, you are a giant pussy. Lets get this inevitability over with.
KANSAS over TEXAS - NO

Half-flaccid? Try FULL ON BLACK BONER. AND NOT JUST TERELLE'S. Dan Herron also ran Rich Rodriguez back to border patrol. Yeah, that's a Hispanic joke. Ohio State will win the Rose Bowl. USC beat OSU. Therefore, USC continues its BCS streak. GOD BLESS THE TRANSITIVE PROPERTY.
OHIO STATE over MICHIGAN - YES


First off, where is LePunchy Fists (other than in the picture on the right)? What is the other running back's purpose when LaJeremiah LeMasoli (just trying to make him fit in) scores all three rushing touchdowns? Deep Throat would be disappointed in your prediction of a BLOW out. You also said that Oregon's match-up was against Arizona State. You can not win after that Special Olympics moment.
OREGON over ARIZONA STATE - INCORRECT MATCH-UP. NO.

Bubb refuses to evaluate your NCAA basketball predictions. NO, IT IS NOT BECAUSE LOYOLA MARYMOUNT BEAT MY TEAM. IT'S BECAUSE NONE OF THIS SHIT MATTERS UNTIL AT LEAST JANUARY 15TH.


SARS. If it doesn't bring you back to earth, it will put you beneath it. 

No comments:

Post a Comment