|I'm sorry for smoking pot before this picture|
Anyways, I don't have an idea how they will long they will draw this apology out for, but my guess is that it's a 30 minute Oprah thing. I have no idea how they will fill that time. Probably with more apologies.
"I'm sorry, for 9-11. I should have had my bike there that day, so I could drive everyone out of the buildings"
"I'm sorry for Hitler. My life goal was always to pedal fast enough on a bike to go back in time and smother Hitler's mom with a goose feather pillow. I let down my country, and more importantly, me."
"I want to apologize for the Sandy Hook. I wanted to give everyone in America a bike. That would in turn boost the morale of the nation, and no one would be depressed or crazy, and want to shoot up a school. It's my fault. I am to blame." *holds out hands for cufflinks*
"I DO NOT APOLOGIZE FOR MARTIN LUTHER KING'S DEATH. HE GOT WHAT HE DESERVED." *drops mic and walks off stage, all while keeping unblinking eye contact with Oprah*