January 7, 2013

More like Flip Kelly...


It was all gonna be peachy. Browns have a new coach, who was going to make them interesting for the first time in 15 years. Kelly was finally gonna pursue the job that would make him attain his goal, having a shot to be number 1. Sure as hell ain't doing it at Oregon. They could win every game by 60 next year and still not get into a championship game. That's because the BCS mafia are RACIST. AGAINST THE SAMOANS. Instead, he's going back to Oregon.

Now, the Browns lean towards more conventional means of picking a coach, like getting one from Syracuse or Rutgers, or Louisville, or basically any Big East school. They're all available. Especially UCONN's head coach. They won't even have a conference in a few years. He'd probably pay you to be your coach. Think of all the money you could save Cleveland. Put that towards something useful. Like a Vespa. Or a Lebron James ever-burning memorial in downtown Cleveland. Or drafting another Big 12 quarterback who is incapable of completing passes. Might I suggest this one?

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