The Final Four: now without talent!

It's the best to see mascots in real life versions. Especially that bulldog. There is no way he could beat that totally not gay Spartan. And then the Mountaineer wouldn't be able to win because you can't hit a girl. And she has a devil spike thing. The she blue devil would totally beat him with her clap slap.

As for the actually teams, congrats. You did exactly what I wanted you to do. RUIN THE RATINGS. Yeah fuck you NCAA. I saw you trying to expand to 96 teams to help get a few extra dollars in your new TV deal. You guys are assholes. 96 teams would just up the upsets, and no one likes Northern Iowa upsets of Kansas. NO ONE.

This also takes all the fun of watching talented players. This years best player in the Final Four: Gordon Hayward? Maybe? Jon Scheyer?

This is stupendously bad. But at least the Wildcats were booted. Both of them.

Whatever. I'll be fine with Butler winning so I can make a championship photoshop with a bulldog wearing sunglasses, because he's too fucking cool for away Final Four games.

Herm's Perm hits crunch time

Dear Loyal Readers,

That dreaded time of year has arrived again for Wilt and Bubb: Finals Week. As much as you would probably like us to devote all of our time to satirizing and scrutinizing the world of sports, we must study instead so we can get real jobs and make real money. Reality, as in the thing that hits after you leave college, sucks. Just ask Canaan and 908. So bear with us, as we enter a stretch where content will be more sparse than finding a woman who hasn't slept with Tiger Woods.

We greatly appreciate your interest and loyalty to the Perm.

Love,

Bubb, Wilt and, of course, Herm