Gettin' Par-Laid: NFL Playoffs Divisional Round

For many, Friday is the day of the week we all yearn for. It's the bikini-clad supermodel that makes all the other days of the work week seem like Rebel Wilson. Except Thursday. Thursday is Zosia Mamet because she's almost super bangable but not quite there. Yes, I watch "Girls" and have a thing for the Jews. Fuck you.

Friday is also payday. So, it is only appropriate that the reoccurring series where we take your hard-earned coin and turn it into greater amounts of (slightly easier-earned) coin would debut on a Friday. It's not gambling if you're always right.

Plus, it's the weekend. The weekend means sex. Sex with your Significant Other, Anonymous Sex, Animal Costume Sex, One-Night-Stands, Gangbangs, Swingers Parties, and old-fashioned Dating (UGH, SO EXPENSIVE). Indulging in one of these individual sex acts, like betting on a single sports game, is fun. Thrilling, even. But when piggybacked with others will blow your Pituitary gland to kingdom come. I know...phrasing.

So, without further ado, let's get you Par-Laid.