Hey, folks. I'm going to write for this site now, so I'll apologize in advance. I'm just doing it to enhance my resume. And my chick appeal. Also, Rick Reilly is hosting Sportscenter on the television as I type this, so this is the equivalent of trying to write a paper as two trains collide and kill everyone on board about 11 feet from your workstation. I bet you couldn't do a better job.
I was born, raised and go to school in Omaha, Neb., and I can tell you right now that none of your jokes are funny. I don't know how to drive a fucking tractor, I don't live on a fucking farm and I've never been fucking cow tipping (though it sounds fun and I really do want to try it). Odds are decent that my city is bigger than whatever one you're reading this from.
