Wrapping Up the Tim Floyd Saga

If you watched sports today, you might have observed that Tim Floyd was peppered  in among the bland (HAHA! Food wordplay!) and excessive coverage of World Series game six. Three cheers for the unofficial start of NCAA Basketball season!

It's been quite a ride here for the proprietors of the Perm. We'd like to conclude this epic day with a recap of the World Wide Leader's dedicated attention to our discovery, as well as give a few deserving shout-outs to those who made this video devour the Internetz like Kelly Clarkson in a buffet line. But first, another screen-grab:

Mr. Floyd, at one point, was perched atop the most popular search topics in all the land. And as it was so eloquently put by our newest member, number 908: "FUCK BIG BIRD."I'm sure that Tim is proud that he topped a list that also included a man fucking a horse.

Herm Rolling in Fly Kicks

I have spent the entire day reliving episodes of morning Sportcenter, and even though it is a live show every time, it still finds a way to be less interesting with every viewing. What doesn't get uninteresting are the antics of our man Herm. He's so light spirited. If I didn't know any better, I would think he kisses babies for a living. Herman is just smiles 100 percent of the time.

This isn't a new thing to most, though. Everyone knows of his friendly demeanor and exciting vocal tones, but what I didn't know was his love of Argyle.

Shocked Kokinis: "I Worked For The Browns?"

Former Cleveland Browns general manager fired amid speculation of abuse of office phone, Golgo 13 addiction, and interstate prostitution


BEREA, Ohio -- In an eventful press conference early Wednesday afternoon at the Cleveland Browns training facility, dismissed former Cleveland Browns general manager George Kokinis addressed the media for the first time, expressing shock not only at his dismissal, but at his employment by the Browns, as well.

"When LernWorm [Cleveland owner Randy Lerner] brought me out here, I thought it was just to help FingerMang [Browns head coach Eric Mangini] get laid," a candid Kokinis explained.  "I had no idea I was actually working for these guys."

When did ESPN Hire Larry Johnson?

I don't remember David Stern adding an adjective to the the Memphis organization, but I guess the Grizzlies are now Gay bears. I always wondered why they chose teal blue for their main color. This explains a lot, but doesn't explain why Gooden's slur is a controversy and Memphis being the Gay Grizzlies isn't. You know what isn't a controversy, though? Handing out Care Bears to the first 30k attendees.

Let's Start the Insanity: Introducing Number 908 to the Family Permtree

The kids have made friends in the neighborhood. 

And when you are a loner like me, you need all the friends you can get. Despite my first objections to writing for a blog seemingly dedicated to the semen of Joe Pisarcik's worst nightmare, I have oh, so longed to join the prosperous and lucrative world of sports blogging. Like any self-serving weasel, I can see these guys are my ticket to hangin' with the cool kids. I've been told that nothing drops the panties quicker than lines like, "Hey sweetie, did you see my jumped 50 spots this week?" Or something like that.

So through some networking, (I don't see ANY OTHER WAY you could start blogging unless you know someone), Bubb Rubb and Will Stilts have graciously given me a set of keys to their bachelor pad. I will either a) pimp this shit out and get our asses on MTV cribs or b) bring this thing down in an epic, Michael Bay-esque ball of flames (but not before letting them know how I feel about their couch).

I am Number 908. Why? Because unlike the founding fathers of this site, "I be cakn patna." Ol' Nine-oh-eight has a job that might not agree with a constant stream of page views being logged due to dick jokes and pictures of chesticles. So his identity won't be revealed until someone catches him at his drunkest, and we will duplicate scenes already played out across the interwebz. The moniker, like so many others, is in fact a not-that-hard-to-figure-out TV show joke. I will leave it to you jackals to figure out.
What will I bring to the table? You mean besides the aformentioned tit pics?  Article XII of the Sports Blogging Constitution states that a sports blog MUST contain at least one writer who will continue to shove east coast bias down the masses throat. After all, these guys think Jameer Owens is the shortstop of the Phillies. As any Philadelphia fan will tell you, that offense is punishable by death in front of the cheesesteak stand. 

So dear and loyal readers, in the times when you don't feel like wasting hours looking for Taylor Rain's new leaked DVD, I will be here scouring the sports world and bringing you the latest in delicious, delicious sports Schadenfreude.

I, number 908, swear by oath to split the rocks of ignorance that obscure the light of knowledge and truth. Or more like 100% the opposite. 

Now let's all get drunk and play ping pong.

Tim Floyd: The Tom Cable Antithesis

While the economy may have improved since it fully tanked in March, times are still tough. Former USC basketball coach Tim Floyd has been unemployed since his resignation in early June. So, like any logical, financially adept individual, Floyd is trying to generate revenue at a casino. As an added bonus, he's also breaking up fights between fat hookers fighting over a Big Mac. All in a day's work. Ah, yes. You probably want the video evidence:

Chris Johnson Video Tribute

Ah, good ole' fashioned 1920's racism, that was probably lyrically written from the exploits of Chris Johnson. Let's break down Johnson's Sunday afternoon. 24 carries, 228 yards, 2 touchdowns, 2 dicks. That's right. TWO DICKS. How else can a man create such a stat line and be melded in the form of a normal human man.