Week 12 Rap-Up: Jake Delhomme is a vagina

And not just because he broke his po' widdew pinky. It's because CMello said so and that man is the Adam Schefter of rap. He once snuck into Jeff Garcia's bedroom to watch him turn down sex with his wife, Carmella DeCesare (October 26), to confirm Garcia's homosexuality. Yeah, he makes Anderson Cooper's reporting look like a Toddler using a microphone as a pacifier. IT SUCKS.

Your musical pleasurings after the jump. CMello's Rap-Up is unofficially sponsored by Trojan Condoms, but we'd sure like to make it official.

CMello honors USC with a victory rap

So this isn't a rap-up, but it will have to do because CMello is swamped with Jay-Z meetings and appearances at Victoria's Secret fashion shows. Yes, it's a freestyle about our favorite school, The University of Southern California. If you feel like this blog has been inundated with Trojan content and are upset about this inaccurately perceived transition, please email our human resources department (they handle all complaints) at idontgiveafuck@gmail.com.

Now, may I present, CMello.

NFL Week 9 Rap-Up with CMELLO!!!!

So, from randomly getting a tip from CMello yesterday, to today, getting a great rap about the NFL week 9 happnenins. Now, an entire segment dedicated to CMello and his antics. He shares shares our love of high proofed alcohol, going out of town, and packing up, just like the real Herm Edwards.

Today's topics:

Kris Brown's kick being shitty.

Larry Johnson's pink polka dotted Snuggie.

Green Bay OM fucking G?