Perm's Portrait - Jail Break

Every year, March comes around and the NFL free agents from each team begin their migrate across the nation. It's a strange occurrence that can't be explained by scientists, but all we know is that they head to the money. This year is no different, at least for those unrestricted free agents. Those that are restricted, well, they're fucked.

Enjoy your new home Julius, and word to the Saints. You should probably resign Darren Sharper. He did kind of carry you to a FUCKING SUPER BOWL?!!!11!?

As for you Ronnie Brown, and Brandon Marshall, unless you can pull a first round pick out of your pants (Greg Oden sure can) you get to stay fucked on your shitty teams. And Brandon, Darrent Williams was totally your fault. HOW'S THAT FEEL? Probably not as bad as being a restricted free agent.

Mountaineers Might Stab Themselves in the Back

Most of the nation has heard the horrible Darrent Willimasesque story coming out of Storrs the past few days. Cornerback Jasper (Jazz) Howard was shanked (by a husky brand blade I assume) on Sunday morning at a party, school sponsored none the less. Although it is tragic (as every single media outlet would so clichely described it), it is a reminder for us students that life isn't so safe cushiony as you are told as a child in The Very Hungry Caterpillar. It's a tough world, full of Steve McNair girlfriends, and un-safetied handguns in sweatpants, but it is good to know that people will remember you, even if tragedy strikes.