Friday Afternoon Substance Abuse: championship weekend

This is a weekly blog that compares the likes of college sports and addictive drugs, and then rolls it into a tight little blunt I like to call the Friday Afternoon Substance Abuse. If you don't know what the hell I'm talking about, then clearly you have participated in some Friday morning substance abuse. So get ready to sit Indian Native American style and stare at a bookshelf for 3 hours cause it's time to drop some acid.

I know you are fiending for some FASA right now. I left for one damn week, and now your all, "wheres my fix Wilt" and "WHERES MY FIX FAGGOT." I know you've missed this, and to make this special occasion (conference championships)  even more special, now you have a happy and completely non delusional Wilt. This Wilt has no regrets for a 5-7 season. That Fatshole is gone. Fuck him sideways on the way out Tyshawn. And we have a Biletnikoff winner coming back. (sees ESPN headlines)

SARS: Fuck My Life.

Excuse me. I'm drowning my life in a 6-3 record. Taylor  Mays man-crush? A joke.

If I had a basketball team with Zav-YAY Henry, I'd be okay. Not all fans can enjoy this shit. Two All-Americans and a freshman phenom? Slam me over the head with a shovel. Here you go anyway.