Friday Afternoon Substance Abuse: Week 12/2

This is a weekly blog that compares the likes of college sports and addictive drugs, and then rolls it into a tight little blunt I like to call the Friday Afternoon Substance Abuse. If you don't know what the hell I'm talking about, then clearly you have participated in some Friday morning substance abuse. So get ready to sit Indian Native American style and stare at a bookshelf for 3 hours cause it's time to drop some acid.
 
I'm half tempted to start putting basketball on the top, but since the football season is supposedly heating up, I'll leave it, although, these next few weeks are the worst of the year. There is only one ranked match-up this week. One damn game. Then we have conference title games in conferences where it doesn't matter. A national championship game in New Orleans. That's all. Then POINTLESS BOWL GAMES. Then SEMI POINTLESS BOWL GAMES. Fuck you BCS. Fuck you like a stripper in a large penis festival. Enough of that, I'm getting the shitting on sweats.

What Can Brown Do For You?

Let's take a trip back in the past, all the way back to August when the '09 Yahoo league 552357 held it's fantasy draft. Wilt, sitting with the second pick, buried in a stack of statistical information. AP has to be going one, he obviously thought, as the seconds dripped down to the 7 p.m. draft start. The fuck is the second guy supposed to do?  Searching through the ranks of running backs, he decides it would be between Mo Jo and Michael Turner. Neither caught his fancy as the clock began to roll on the draft with Greatones sitting with the top pick. A minute passes by, as Wilt continues to assume AP will be off the board, seconds left......#1 Pick: LARRY FITZGERALD.


Flash forward to this weekend, where I take on the braindead soul of Greatones in week five of the Next Level league. Sitting at 3-1 Plaxico's Sweatpants (my team) has a large lead ahead of the third place team and only a loss behind the top squad. Greatones: dead last. The projections have the Sweats favored by 20. Deciding to have some fun with the mentally hadicaped Greatones, I combine the nordic trio Brett Farve, Sidney Rice, and my crown jewel Adrian's Peterson (leaving Donovan McNabb's 31 on the bench)

Sunday moves along smoothly, with no hiccup in the first slate of games, where AP goes for a modest 18 along with a combined 19 from Brett Rice.  Cedric Benson leads my squad with a 21 pointer to give me a solid 15 point lead heading into the late games.