Perm-O-Meter August, 27th, VICK'S BACK

As I checked my phone this morning, I was pleased to find a drunk message from Bubb Rubb lingering in my voicemail. Hilarity ensued with the listening of said voicemail, and my great day began. Two classes later, I found that Vick had him self a solid first game, which apparently prompted a response from our main man Herman.

Sal starts it off with the obvious, "how did he play tonight?' question which follows with an immediate response with full on confidence. Confidence that lends itself to a pat on the back of Sal Paolantonio. If you watch closely, you can see this disturbs Sal's concentration as he leers at the camera seconds after Herm's contact. Then, as Herm is proclaiming Vick's inability to be elusive and why it's still acceptable, Sal busts down the door. This clearly perturbs Herm who takes a dishearteningly gaze towards the camera. Oh the fireworks of television journalism, and only in the first 33 seconds.

Herm fights on through Sal's arrogance to portray a well dictated conversation, almost Obama-esque. He tells America that the rhythm was a little stagnant when MV7 stepped on the field with McNabb. Then a comforting line (for eagles fans) that it's only been 3 weeks and the system just needs to be worked on. As Sal closes out the interview, Herm gazes into that camera, clearly disturbed with what went about, frowning, looking for a good time to land a solid right hook into that silver haired bastard.

Herm was outstanding, coherent, educating, and of course energetic, but Sal almost pushed him over the line last night. In the end Herm did what he could to salvage the situation, so he gets a 4 permformance. Sal on the other hand only gets the recognition of being labeled douchebag.

Perm-O-Meter: Herm Plays it Safe. What's New.

Herm Edwards continues to be the ESPN go-to-guy for Michael Vick analysis. Probably because of his reputation as an offensive guru as a coach. Definitely not because he's a minority or kind of looks like Vick's guardian angel, Tony Dungy.

Here's the video of his riveting discussion with Brian Kenny:



Okay, lets recap.

Brian Kenny: What should the Eagles do with Vick?
Herm: No one knows at this point. Andy Reid has to figure it out.

I love you Herm. I really do. And I'm pulling for you as an NFL analyst. But this isn't a press conference. Don't skirt around the answer like your job is on the line. It's not. You're Herm Fucking Edwards.

BK: Former Falcon teammate Brian Finneran says that Vick can throw 65 yards and wants to take the ball under center. Should he play quarterback?
HE: He should play at the quarterback position. It's like when Muhammad Ali left boxing for three years and wasn't the same guy when he came back. We have to see where his skills are.

First of all, why the fuck is Brian Finneran the best person available to lend his opinion to this question? What about Alge Crumpler? Warrick Dunn? You're interviewing Herm Edwards, at least quote a damn Pro-Bowler.

Herm responds with a respectable answer, although the Ali comparison might raise a few eyebrows. Vick is still a quarterback, but his passing skills will determine whether he's used for an entire series, or just a few select plays in Wildcat-like formations.

BK: Let's say his skills are all there. He's the same 'ol Vick. The Eagles still have Donovan McNabb.
HE: With 65-70 plays in your offensive package, you can have about eight for Michael Vick.

Again, quality insight from a coach's perspective. But only eight of those for Vick? If the Eagles are paying $1.6 million for Vick to play in ten games (remember, he's suspended for the first six), I'd hope they draw up more than eight for him.

BK: On a sidenote, Cincinatti also made an offer in the Michael Vick auction.

What?? Noooooooo! How could HBO let this (not) happen!! Can you imagine the ratings for "Hard Knocks" if Mike Vick suddenly made a season-long guest appearance? I'm legitimately upset. 2.5 Perms for Mr. Edwards.

Like the Grinch on Christmas, Philadelphia's Heart Quintuples in Size, Opens its Arms to Mike Vick

Michael Vick has signed a two-year deal to play in the most hateful sports city in America. Go easy on him, Philly. As the news broke during the Monday Night Football telecast, Ron Jaworski immediately established his conviction that this will piss off Donovan McNabb.

Jaws, you fucknut. You wonder why Chris Mortenson got his own bus instead of you? The only teams Vick would possibly play quarterback for are the Bay Area abominations.

On a side note, I'm actually pretty shocked Al Davis didn't scoop him up. Maybe because his dimentia continuously caused him to forget Vick existed altogether.

Let's put aside the fact that Jaws' predisposed dislike for the pickup is only because he doesn't want Vick's past tainting the reputation of his former team. McNabb has proven that he's the only player who can evict himself from the starting job. Andy Reid knows better than to start a quarterback controversy this close to week one. Vick will be a receiver, tailback, Wildcat formation option and possibly a special teams contributor. That's it.

Mike, I wish you the best of luck. I'm excited to see you back in uniform. Kill 'em, dawg.

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