LIVE BLOG: Jessica Simpson's Former Boyfriend vs. Clifford's Former Caretaker

The Giants-Chargers game just wrapped and the 21-20 result in favor of the Bolts was more satisfying than watching my own team improve to 6-2 and take a healthy lead in the AFC East. I thrive on the misery and shortcomings of Eli Manning, which you probably remember if you read the live blog two weeks ago.

The pleasure of Eli's loss is amplified by the loss coming by the hands of the quarterback who was selected behind him in the 2004 draft. Not to mention that Eli has a superior offensive line and backfield to inflate his numbers, giving the appearance that he's a good quarterback. I could literally rant for hours about this, but I already wrote about it a while back. Glad to see my detailed analysis has finally proven itself.

Alas, I'm sure you're not here to listen to why the Giants suck syphilis'd Chinaman penis. You're here for the live blog of the Eagles-Cowboys game. We promise not to make any jokes about Michael Vick's dog abuse, Tony Romo's dubious heterosexuality and Andy Reid's approach to Mangino-like mass. Psych.

As always, Wilt in Jayhawk blue and Bubb in Trojan cardinal.

Perm-O-Meter August, 27th, VICK'S BACK

As I checked my phone this morning, I was pleased to find a drunk message from Bubb Rubb lingering in my voicemail. Hilarity ensued with the listening of said voicemail, and my great day began. Two classes later, I found that Vick had him self a solid first game, which apparently prompted a response from our main man Herman.

Sal starts it off with the obvious, "how did he play tonight?' question which follows with an immediate response with full on confidence. Confidence that lends itself to a pat on the back of Sal Paolantonio. If you watch closely, you can see this disturbs Sal's concentration as he leers at the camera seconds after Herm's contact. Then, as Herm is proclaiming Vick's inability to be elusive and why it's still acceptable, Sal busts down the door. This clearly perturbs Herm who takes a dishearteningly gaze towards the camera. Oh the fireworks of television journalism, and only in the first 33 seconds.

Herm fights on through Sal's arrogance to portray a well dictated conversation, almost Obama-esque. He tells America that the rhythm was a little stagnant when MV7 stepped on the field with McNabb. Then a comforting line (for eagles fans) that it's only been 3 weeks and the system just needs to be worked on. As Sal closes out the interview, Herm gazes into that camera, clearly disturbed with what went about, frowning, looking for a good time to land a solid right hook into that silver haired bastard.

Herm was outstanding, coherent, educating, and of course energetic, but Sal almost pushed him over the line last night. In the end Herm did what he could to salvage the situation, so he gets a 4 permformance. Sal on the other hand only gets the recognition of being labeled douchebag.

Like the Grinch on Christmas, Philadelphia's Heart Quintuples in Size, Opens its Arms to Mike Vick

Michael Vick has signed a two-year deal to play in the most hateful sports city in America. Go easy on him, Philly. As the news broke during the Monday Night Football telecast, Ron Jaworski immediately established his conviction that this will piss off Donovan McNabb.

Jaws, you fucknut. You wonder why Chris Mortenson got his own bus instead of you? The only teams Vick would possibly play quarterback for are the Bay Area abominations.

On a side note, I'm actually pretty shocked Al Davis didn't scoop him up. Maybe because his dimentia continuously caused him to forget Vick existed altogether.

Let's put aside the fact that Jaws' predisposed dislike for the pickup is only because he doesn't want Vick's past tainting the reputation of his former team. McNabb has proven that he's the only player who can evict himself from the starting job. Andy Reid knows better than to start a quarterback controversy this close to week one. Vick will be a receiver, tailback, Wildcat formation option and possibly a special teams contributor. That's it.

Mike, I wish you the best of luck. I'm excited to see you back in uniform. Kill 'em, dawg.

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