Abusive Coaches Anonymous

In a local Tampa Bay high school locker room, three figures are seen sitting in folding chairs, all facing each other. They sip coffee and nibble on stale danishes while discussing sports, their wives' cooking and other inconsequential topics. Suddenly, the door is violently thrown open, revealing an aryan-looking man in a green polo and visor.

Leavitt: OLLY OLLY OXEN FREE! JIMMYBOY'S HERE! Shit, this is one sorry-looking pack of pussies. I have to waste an hour of my Friday night for the next 10 weeks with you assholes? (throws hat on ground). DAG GUMMIT!

GQ Identifies 25 Douchiest Colleges; Irony for GQ Readers Ensues

USC places 16th on the list because of our giant sunglasses. We're sorry that all of our students are blinded by each others' beauty.

KU did not make the list, probably because it rains too much in Kansas Kansans are too angry about their hideousness to put any effort into practicing douchebaggery.


Seriously, being a douche is hard work. Just ask GJay Cutler.