The day is here.

Many of you know of this niche sport called American football. It's quite popular in some regions and creates quite an underground buzz during it's championship weekend. This year, two teams face off, and those two teams are the Colts and the Saints.

According to Vegas, and every analyst on ESPN, CBS, and FOX, the Colts should win. This is all fine and dandy. You can choose your picks on the basis of how good Peyton Manning is on SNL or how disheveled Pierre Garcon is about his homeless ancestors. Go ahead and do that. You just leave the statistical analysis to me.

You go, CBS wire services!

After Drew Brees made the Patriots' secondary look more helpless than the Japanese on August 6, 1945, I've had to settle for the little victories. Victories like watching the game on mute and evading the mind-numbing drivel that (I assume) spilled out of Jaws' and Gruden's lips like saliva on a stroke victim. I also enjoyed the company of my father and downed a few exotic beers at the Yardhouse.

After returning home and perusing the stat sheet, which only led to further depression, I came across a great line in CBS Sportsline's game recap. In comparing the Patriots' defeats to the remaining unbeaten NFL teams, the article read: