Perm's Portrait: You tired of 'Who Dat' yet?

New Orleans is ground zero...again. Gumbo hasn't been stirred. Jazz music hasn't been played. Levies haven't broken. The only thing functioning right now in New Orleans are livers and keg taps. That is all. Brain cells are dead. Super Bowless teams are dead. Peyton's legacy is dead.

So, since you've had enough Super Bowl bullshit, we decided to give you some more just to piss you the fuck off.

The day is here.

Many of you know of this niche sport called American football. It's quite popular in some regions and creates quite an underground buzz during it's championship weekend. This year, two teams face off, and those two teams are the Colts and the Saints.

According to Vegas, and every analyst on ESPN, CBS, and FOX, the Colts should win. This is all fine and dandy. You can choose your picks on the basis of how good Peyton Manning is on SNL or how disheveled Pierre Garcon is about his homeless ancestors. Go ahead and do that. You just leave the statistical analysis to me.

The Colts' (white?) supremacy

(With the Colts leading the Jaguars 35-31 and 2:06 left to play, Indianapolis' undefeated season is being seriously threatened by an impending Jags drive. Peyton Manning and Dallas Clark converse on the sideline.)

Manning: Hay Dayluhss, why wasn't you at my poker tourneyment on Mondee?