Rafie Nadal, New Addition to the Packers?

The day's date is 9/9/09 and we became witness to some weird ass shit last night. Andy Murray lost last night to a six foot six, 20 year old Bosnian in straight sets. But the crazier shit happened with Nadal on the court. Some random New York crazy, Noam U. Aorta, found his way onto the court where he then blazed across to the scorers table and began molesting him with his mouth. Being the Spanish native that Nadal is, he was entirely happy with this outcome.

For me, it wasn't a problem. He said, ' I love you, ' and he kissed me.

This is promising for the PR guys in Madrid who have been looking for a way to masculate the view of Europe's populous throughout the world. Nadal, look, if you enjoyed it that much, there is a lovely way you can return some affection. Bail. The guy (who eerily looks like he manicured himself in Rafie's fashion) got to spend last night in jail with a chance of major jail time if convicted of the trespassing accusation. It's hard to fight a case where you were caught doing the crime on national television.....in HD.

Notice Rafie's willingness to accept his lips and then as he is rushed out Nadal, like a one night stand with Eva Mendez, chases Aorta, asking for a phone number. It's cute, if you're Perez Hilton, but everyone knows you have to drive another 2 hours north to get your chance with him. Aorta can hear the wedding bells court bell tower right now.

That's a Way to Get Off on the Right Foot

Or should I say knee. Welcome all fans of Kansas City who still have a soul left from the past decade of horrid sports teams. Of course, if your like me, your soul was ripped out a long time ago. It's about time to add more suffering and this years Chiefs to that list. Awesome news today stating that Matt Cassel, or should I say 60 million dollars, will not be starting the season, thanks to an MCL sprain in his left knee. Almost as if God was taunting us for the severing of Brady's CL's last year.  Damn you Pollard. (winks and air high fives)

Now it's going to be an exciting race to see which backup can get the starting job. Thigpen with the astounding QB rating of 74.7 or the talentless long haired douchebag Croyle with an even shittier 67.5 QB rating. Just a heads up for week one in your fantasy league. Pick the Ravens. You will win your match.

UPDATE.....
Now they cut Chan Gailey. Honestly, what the fuck. Unless Pete Carrol has been assigned to the offensive coordinator position....what the fuck. How random is this. The only thing I can imagine is that Haley was getting frustrated with the O-line schemes, and just blew up. That offensive line sucks. Bad. I mean really bad. I mean Michael Jackson "bad".