September 14, 2009

How 'Bout Some More Live Blogging: San Diego Oakland

Someone doesn't want to go home with a loss and then have to watch the Raiders. Well lucky for you Randy, we have ourselves a nice little live blog. That way, tomorrow while your at the water cooler, you can still act knowledgeable about your former team.

Urlacher Prepares to Combat Season-Ending Injury

Nike unleashed its latest football garb in a fantastically aesthetic (as usual) commercial during the USC-Ohio State game on ESPN Saturday. The commercial featured large doses of Adrian Peterson wreaking havoc on his (predominantly caucasian) opponents. Brian Urlacher is also a Nike-sponsored spokesperson for the new "combat" line of scaly spandex. Unfortunately, the only havoc he will be wreaking will be onthe Bears payroll and on Nike's strategic ad placement:


Urlacher's injury means that the team's masseuse will likely double, as he now has a wrist to massage in addition to Jay Cutler's ego. To Nike's credit, this is far less embarrassing than Citizen's claim that Eli Manning was unstoppable, much to the disagreement of an amateur Bills' defense.

Live Chargers-Raiders blog later tonight. Tequila shots for every time Merriman appears on camera with the facial expression of wanting to choke someone. So basically every time Shawne Merriman appears on camera.

September 13, 2009

Modern Day Internet.....

Just a little fun for all you fans who were able to sit through the horrible display of "offense" I think they call it. I wouldn't know 'cuz I'm from Kansas City. That sounds distantly familiar, like back in 2003 or something. I think there was a Dick involved. Anyways, this is just a little cap for the night, our first night back to Sunday NFL football. We had ups and downs but in the end I'm winning fantasy football which means about as much as the VMA's. Kanye?! What are you doing in Law........I'm the best, and you know what, Fuck all you faggots who dont' vote for my main friend's wife. FUCK IT. Imma go listen to myself on auto-tune YE OUT. ....Ok. that was weird. Well with another day comes another two games and get ready from more of this "offense" tomorrow.

Sundy Night Football Live Blog Chicago @ Green Bay

After a rowdy 13 games to start off the '09 NFL season, both Sexcapade and Bubb are leading their respective fantasy leagues, with insane point totals. 122 on the Rubb side with all his games finished and with two receivers and a kicker to go 20K is thriving with 118. Needless to say, we are both excited for the upcoming months with great starts. I am specifically excited to see if Wes Welker and Vince Jackson can pull me up to an astonishing 150 points.

I plan on taking a shot of Gin for every point away from my goal I don't get. Robbie Gould can help my sobriety, by smashing extra points and pin pointing a few 50 yard field goals. So this is where we begin out coverage, half hour outside of a great Sunday night game, hoping that Jay Cutler has enough insulin to get him into field goal range, and then falter, while diabetic coma stunts Da Bears offense, at the 35 yard line. Remember, no more Madden, so no repetitive offensive line comments and redundant coaching anecdotes. Just friendly Chris Collinsworth action. Bubb will most likely join me somewhere between the first cheese head viewing and the 9th Brett fucking Farve reference.

PermCast: Reactions to a Victory #3 over #8

The picture says it all for Ohio State Fans. "We only have football going for us here in the Midwest and you damn Californioners come here and take that away :(" First of all, OSU is still just as bad as last years team, overrated in every position. Playing the likes of Michigan State and Northwestern your team looks good similar to the girls who hangout with the fugly friend to make her look Natalie Portman-ish. Second of all,

September 11, 2009

Friday Afternoon Substance Abuse: Week DOS


Hola hombres! It's officially week two of the best sport going on right now, and guess which anti flip-flop/shorts/hat/drinking campus is going on a crack binge this week. That's right, your favorite Mormon college, BYU. Somehow misogyny has actually improved the play of athletes. Who knew this was possible (cough Shawne Merriman cough). So Ya'll (that's how you say it out there right?) get your baking soda 'cuz crack is on the main menu this week.

September 9, 2009

NFL Preview: A Permcast of Epic Proportions

By now, if you've listened to any one of the three previous permcasts, you've come to expect a level of non sequitur digressions. For a moment, imagine that level represented as a pig in space. Now, with that fantastic imagination God Tim Tebow gave you, multiply the pig's size by 100 and detonate it, disemboweling its innards all over your face. That would be an accurate representation of how fucking amazing this Permcast is. Oh, and Will "The Thrill" "Catch-22" "Insert Nickname Here" Harris is our guest. He's a full-time rapper, part time student and moonlights as a cowboy. The man's got his priorities in order.

Yeah, only the hardest of hardasses get a permcast appearance
Permcast content includes:
-The National Football League
-Will Harris rap ft. LeGarrett Blount
-Rosie O'Donnell's ability to reverse the polarization of the Earth with her massive periods
-Late night phone call to A.J. Daulerio

If that doesn't convince you, I legitimately got a hard-on just re-listening to this. It's downright titillating.


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