Showing posts with label Matt Barkley. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Matt Barkley. Show all posts

September 17, 2009

Herm's Perm Drinks Some Rick Reilly Haterade


I can't say I've ever disliked Rick Reilly. Because my interest initially gravitated toward Bill Simmons, I naturally sided with The Sports Guy in the top-ESPN columnist rivalry. I never boycotted Reilly's writing, just consciously ignored it. Especially if there was new Simmons material.

The light in which I viewed Reilly changed this past Tuesday, and it didn't get brighter.

As I entered Cromwell Field to watch the Trojans engage in intrasquad abuse for Competition Tuesday, I noticed a familiar face speaking with the SC Sports Information Director.

Oh, hey Rick Reilly I text in typical douchebag-boasting fashion to Wilt Stilts (by the way - quit changing your fucking name. We're big-time now). I stand about three feet to the left of the superstar writer and eavesdrop a bit on his conversation with the SID. He's cordial and engaging; he asks questions about the SID's family and gets his thoughts on the team and other headlines that day.

I follow up my text to Wilt with Should I ask him "Can I have your autograph, Mr. Simmons?" I consider the proposition and imagine two possible Reilly reactions:

September 6, 2009

United We Stand, Divided We Fall: Herman Edwards' Perm.

To 20k:

I did not take the time to read the transcription of our text messages. No doubt, they are endlessly laughable.

[Edit]: And holy shit they are. There's a very good chance this will become a Saturday tradition. Maybe we'll go live with it. You would be so lucky.

I did, however, read your response to my "BIG 12 IS SOFT post" and reviewed the statements. Your statements. That belong - with all due respect - alongside my archived anti-Whitlock blog in the hall of "What The Fuck Is This Incoherent, Uninterpretable, Moonshine-Induced Bullshit."

Let's discuss USC running backs' inability to move, as you so eloquently put it.
No, fuck that. "Discuss" is far too engaging. Let's screenshot some evidence:

The proof is in the pudding badass NFL prospects who've proven themselves in the one-through-five slots. We're Tailback U for a reason.

Moving on.

The only fans happy about OU's embarrassment in Arlington, or the "upset" in Dallas' stadium, are Mormons (repetitive, I know), Longorns and, of course, the BAMFs of Troy.

Shitting on OklaHOMO aside, I'm far too lazy to compare the Big 10's 11's overall schedule to the Big 12's. However, we know that KU traditionally organizes out-of-conference games against high schools. So those "easy" Big 10 wins come as frequently as those in the Big 12.

Except for the anomalies played in Jerry Jones' stadium against MORMONS. Those clearly aren't as easy.

I'm in full agreement with the sarcastic BCS statement - this will surely be a year of controversy, as is every year where teams receive sponsorship from Fiestas, Banks, Fruit or glucose insurance.

But I'm expressing complete disagreement with your hesitant statement supporting Les Miles. An Eight point win against a team that won ZERO games last year and currently employs TWO former USC assistants? That's a ballsy contradiction. Ballsy like betting Usain Bolt to beat Rodrick Stewart after his recuperative 2008 Alamo Dome knee-surgery rehab.

Let's conclude with a picture of a TRUE FRESHMAN quarterback who racked up more yards against a six-win D-1 team than a SENIOR did against a one-win D-1AA team. Did I mention the freshman's tailbacks also gained MORE yards on FEWER carries?



JESUS, I'm a douchebag.

August 30, 2009

Great Athletes Should Never be Considered Students. Ever.

For once, I will defend Tim Tebow. Jesus 2.0, if you will, is taking one class as a senior. As one Jew, to an incarnation of another, Mazel Tov.


Athletes like Tebow, especially at public universities, should never be considered "student-athletes." Tebow is a "true" senior - as in, he never served as a redshirt and still found a way to play football and graduate within four years. Matt Leinart, who won 37 games in 39 starts during a three year span, served as a redshirt throughout his tenure as a staple in the USC offense. As a fifth-year senior, it's perfectly acceptable to finish his education with one class. Lane Kiffin approves, and he's a BOSS.

But Tebow...after just four years? Is Florida a bunch of downed syndromes? Yes, they are. BUT, Tebow shouldn't be considered a student in the first place. Enrolling in general education classes about the history of Bill Cosby's Nigerian heritage have little relevance to Tebow's skills as a PROFESSIONAL ATHLETE. Although he chooses to bestow his knowledge upon audiences that could give a fuck less, his primary education is FOOTBALL.

The NFL lacks a system where legitimate athletes, who have no motivation to LEARN AND EDUCATE THEMSELVES, have an avenue to develop their physical skills sans the academic bullshit. AFL? Bankrupt. CFL? Big Brother-Controlled Pussy Shit.

I'm still clueless as to how Tebow is finishing his education in, essentially, three and a half years. Typical educations require 120 credits to graduate, which includes UF. That means in his first 3.5 years, Tebow took an average of approximately 17 credits per semester. Well...if you can juggle that with an Urban Meyer practice schedule and maintain a 3.77, then call me Schiavo and enroll me as a major in family, youth and community sciences.

Any critics of the system need to reevaluate the situation. I will forever be an advocate of athletes who bring their game to the collegiate level for the sole purpose of continuing their education to continue professionally. AS AN ATHLETE. These people have little reason for engaging in the classroom drivel. They are here to become professional SPORTSMEN. Not professional ACADEMICS. Throw footballs, shoot basketballs and hit baseballs. If you can't make it to a professional level, get an education. Yes, that goes for you water polo, soccer, track/field, poker and billiards players. If you're not a member of the latter group, fuck the books, lectures and general intellectual hoopla. It's cockamamie horseshit. Win games for your alma mater and return to donate money to the program.

So Tebow, be proud of your one-class excuse for a senior year. It's one more reason for USC to flaunt its dominance once TRUE FRESHMAN MATT BARKLEY plops his proverbial excrement all over your program. USC over Texas in the Natty. Revenge at the Rose Bowl.

Yeah, I spoiled my Permcast predictions, but only 'cuz there's a surprise for SC fans comin' up this week. Stay tuned.

August 29, 2009

USC destroys Minorities

When I left the final intrasquad scrimmage at the Coliseum today, the Trojan starters were pummeling the second- and third-string black squad by 34. Matt Barkley looked solid, as did Aaron Corp. I have a v-neck farmers tan. Ronald Johnson is out six to eight fucking weeks with a broken collarbone that he suffered early on in the game. Here are some sub-par iPhone pics:

Matt Barkley (7) jogs out of the tunnel after halftime

The team taking the field after halftime

The Man, The Legend, Taylor Fucking Mays

Taylor Mays conversates/intimidates an innocent fan

Damian Williams is much lonelier with RoJo's injury
Ignore the Tapout-wearing douchebag, and focus on the camaraderie in front of him

The ever-elusive Pete Carroll jogs onto the field

The black team, which could still beat last year's UW squad
Look who's avoiding Toronto at all costs! (Not pictured are Leonard Washington, Alex Stepheson and Marcus Johnson, who all attended)