A Day in the Life of Tyshawn Taylor

I had the chance to tag along with fellow KU student Tyshawn Taylor yesterday, and man what an exciting day it was. I decided to transcribe it in all it's glory for all to see, a day in the life of Tyshawn Taylor.

Signs of life begin in the 314 room of Jayhawker Towers. A young man begins his early morning ritual of tossing his sheets off his bed, and in the process, kicking his slut of the night to the floor. He mumbles an incoherent set of words, followed by a line that all sluts have heard at one point or another. Time to move bitch our I'll Markieff your ass. (referring to Markieff Morris who shot an old lady last year with a pellet gun.). The whore leaves with a face of disappointment as Tyshawn logs onto his laptop and checks the Chad Ford's mock draft, only to see he has dropped out of the lottery. A few cuss words and a shower later he is ready for class.

Tyshawn walks to class everyday to keep his campus aura up. Although he is a clear third wheel to Cole Aldrich and Sherron Collins, he still gets, as he says, mad love from the students here. Lately though, the newspapers at KU have been a little too football oriented for Taylor's liking. I'm not sayin I hate the football team, but they (are) only ranked 19. Man we (are) ranked one. That's the best in the nation and I have a gold medal. I need face time. I'm from Jersey City. I'm from the slums and I was gonna go to Marquette, but thanks to a coaching change, I am here. People should be grateful even to have me. Clearly perturbed, he enters his class, African American Studies, and picks a seat next to Marcus Morris which is also the farthest seat from the professor. Conversation get's heavy as the two begin hating on the football team.

United We Stand, Divided We Fall: Herman Edwards' Perm.

To 20k:

I did not take the time to read the transcription of our text messages. No doubt, they are endlessly laughable.

[Edit]: And holy shit they are. There's a very good chance this will become a Saturday tradition. Maybe we'll go live with it. You would be so lucky.

I did, however, read your response to my "BIG 12 IS SOFT post" and reviewed the statements. Your statements. That belong - with all due respect - alongside my archived anti-Whitlock blog in the hall of "What The Fuck Is This Incoherent, Uninterpretable, Moonshine-Induced Bullshit."

Let's discuss USC running backs' inability to move, as you so eloquently put it.
No, fuck that. "Discuss" is far too engaging. Let's screenshot some evidence:

The proof is in the pudding badass NFL prospects who've proven themselves in the one-through-five slots. We're Tailback U for a reason.

Moving on.

The only fans happy about OU's embarrassment in Arlington, or the "upset" in Dallas' stadium, are Mormons (repetitive, I know), Longorns and, of course, the BAMFs of Troy.

Shitting on OklaHOMO aside, I'm far too lazy to compare the Big 10's 11's overall schedule to the Big 12's. However, we know that KU traditionally organizes out-of-conference games against high schools. So those "easy" Big 10 wins come as frequently as those in the Big 12.

Except for the anomalies played in Jerry Jones' stadium against MORMONS. Those clearly aren't as easy.

I'm in full agreement with the sarcastic BCS statement - this will surely be a year of controversy, as is every year where teams receive sponsorship from Fiestas, Banks, Fruit or glucose insurance.

But I'm expressing complete disagreement with your hesitant statement supporting Les Miles. An Eight point win against a team that won ZERO games last year and currently employs TWO former USC assistants? That's a ballsy contradiction. Ballsy like betting Usain Bolt to beat Rodrick Stewart after his recuperative 2008 Alamo Dome knee-surgery rehab.

Let's conclude with a picture of a TRUE FRESHMAN quarterback who racked up more yards against a six-win D-1 team than a SENIOR did against a one-win D-1AA team. Did I mention the freshman's tailbacks also gained MORE yards on FEWER carries?



JESUS, I'm a douchebag.

Kobe Bryant Loses Popularity Contest to Elderly Spanish Singer Whom I've Never Heard of and a Guy from Kansas

The people of Los Angeles have spoken. Emerging victorious as the person who Angelenos would "most like to eat lunch with" was Plácido Domingo, a Spanish tenor who serves as the General Director of the Los Angeles Opera. Philip Anschutz of AEG placed second.

Upon first impression, this is completely baffling. Kobe Bryant is so popular, that his mere being invokes Rodney King-level insanity. Exhibits A, B and C:


Anschutz and Domingo's combined entertainment values produce a slightly more subdued result:
Upon closer review, the poll appeared exclusively online. The likeliness of Exhibits A and B owning a computer is worse than the Chiefs' Super Bowl chances, so this really wasn't a fair assessment to begin with. Kobe unofficially wins because the vast majority of his supporters lack the financial support and intellectual ability to respond to a poll, let alone understand the meaning of the word.

Edit: Kyle would like me to point out that Anschutz not only comes from Kansas, but attended the University of Kansas and has a library on campus named after him. Thanks Kyle, you arrogant prick.