OOOOOOOOHHHHH SNAP

These aren't the vacations you would like to receive from the NCAA. Certainly not. Talk about potentially throwing away all three years of Matt Barkley. USC is more fucked than Lawrence Taylor's prison roommate.

Then again, they do have all the private institutional money to just launder out to the NCAA committee to help combat the years of lesser scholarships and post game appearances. And maybe they could levy their argument with some sex from the call song girls.

 Get wet ladies. Get nice and wet.

Fred Phelps on: Antawn Jamison

Being from Kansas, I know my fair share of Christian friends. I have Rush Limbaugh on my email list and Glenn Beck on speed dial, but those guys are nothing compared to the guy in my mailing list. That is, of course, the radical and ruthless Civil Liberties lover, Fred Phelps.

Fred is quite a wordsmith as you can see here, so what else is there to do but hand this man the column he so deserves. We wanted to hear his thoughts on the Antawn Jamison trade to Cleveland yesterday.

(Unlocks maximum security cell)

WAHHHHHHH! Oh Jesus loving Christ I love being straight. How you doin' Permers. YOU'RE ALL SINNERS IF YOU'RE READING THIS! You hear me. Sinners. All of you.

Closeout sales at Gil's

IF YOU THOUGHT OUR SALES WERE BANNANAS LAST TIME, THEN YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THIS SHIT.

Solve that problem with some brand new NIGHT VISION GOGGLES at GILBERT'S GUN GARAGE.

EVERYTHING MUST GO AT GGG's LOCKED UP-STRAP UP SALE!

Hey, It's Gil, and I need to evacuate these weapons like Haiti residents. Hurry and get a lightly used glock WITH THE SERIAL NUMBERS SCRAPED OFF . It's virtually undetectable.

And check this out