Deadspin Loves Itself, and Herm Snatches Away the Vibrator

If, at any time, you visited Deadspin this week, there was a 167 percent chance that you read something about someone at ESPN fucking someone s/he shouldn't have. The other 32 percent was this. And Ted Williams, because why the fuck not, had to have a one-percent say. Figuratively and cryogenically, of course.

I really love Deadspin. My addiction to the site is like Ochocinco's thirst for attention: If shit doesn't happen daily, I'll drop the ball and wallow in self-pity like a five-year-old. So when we (Wilt and myself) broke the Chase Mejia story, expectations for notoriety were low. Like post-Palmer-ACL-expectations-low.

But then the Deadspin story hit - and logged more than 55,000 hits within 24 hours. As a result, we immediately had hopes for the elite "October: Fin." post. Aspirations as provocative as top-5 supremacy. Why? Because our assumption was that Deadspin couldn't possibly count every single separate ESPNHornDoggeryPost as uniquely separate. They were all about the same Bristol Bullshit.

Well, JesusUnholyStevePhillips'RuthlessCock, were we wrong.