Deadspin Loves Itself, and Herm Snatches Away the Vibrator

If, at any time, you visited Deadspin this week, there was a 167 percent chance that you read something about someone at ESPN fucking someone s/he shouldn't have. The other 32 percent was this. And Ted Williams, because why the fuck not, had to have a one-percent say. Figuratively and cryogenically, of course.

I really love Deadspin. My addiction to the site is like Ochocinco's thirst for attention: If shit doesn't happen daily, I'll drop the ball and wallow in self-pity like a five-year-old. So when we (Wilt and myself) broke the Chase Mejia story, expectations for notoriety were low. Like post-Palmer-ACL-expectations-low.

But then the Deadspin story hit - and logged more than 55,000 hits within 24 hours. As a result, we immediately had hopes for the elite "October: Fin." post. Aspirations as provocative as top-5 supremacy. Why? Because our assumption was that Deadspin couldn't possibly count every single separate ESPNHornDoggeryPost as uniquely separate. They were all about the same Bristol Bullshit.

Well, JesusUnholyStevePhillips'RuthlessCock, were we wrong.

The Mejia Saga Continues: the Participant's Perspective

Mejia, displeased with our decision to not remove the post, has responded again with a more detailed retelling of his adventures in Florida. Away we go:

Chase Mejia Devouring the Internetz like Miami Pussy

Wow, and you thought daredorm.com couldn't get any sexier. Chase Mejia is MILDLY HOT by himself. Well, at least according to Google Trends. He's so hot, he was at 17th at one point on google's rankings.

Somewhat surprisingly, Mejia hasn't embraced his renewed notoriety. Just hours after the story appeared on the Perm, Mejia asked for its removal:

From Mejia:

[sic] Hello I saw the recent Blog u wrote about Chase Mejia and that just happens to be me. Id really aprecciate it if you took this blog down please. You do not know any of the details. I did the video as a one time thing to make money to get back into school and pay for it. My mom lost her job and dad will not help me out. I have to get my grades back in order to get back on the field and im really overwhelmed right now just from this as it is with people calling me. Please take it down I still have a future and dreams. Do the right thing please. Thank you and God bless you! Best wishes

So please, if you read this and have Chase's contact info, stop calling. It's awfully hard to concentrate on midterms when you're constantly being interrupted by hundreds of friends and fans congratulating you on your sexcapades.

[EDIT]: Apparently there was also some misinformation in the previous Mejia post regarding his reasoning behind leaving Northern Illinois. Mejia allegedly left in the midst of theft accusations, not because of the NIU shootings. Forgive me for trying to maintain the man's immaculate public image.

Real Life Hung Story Ready for the HBO Rewrite - UPDATED

Here's something I bet you didn't know about the owners and operators of this blog: we attended the same high school. And, before he transferred following his junior year, so did Chase Mejia. Like any skilled athlete, public school competition didn't suffice. With national recognition (the video was featured in Sports Illustrated's "Faces in the Crowd") inflating his ego like a Jenna Jameson implant, he transferred. But Mejia's journey was only just beginning.

*******NSFW CONTENT AHEAD. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.*******