WHY DON'T YOU WANT OUR GOLDEN WHEAT PASTURES?

Hey, look. Everybody cares about Big 10 expansion now. Now that the Big 12 is fumbling the situation like Adrian Peterson. The Pac-10 has jumped in for all of Texas because they like steakhouses and conservatives. Wait...

And Nebraska and Mizzou are on a deadline for Friday to make a decision to the Big 12 on what their intentions are. This deadline will have no effect, considering they have no reason to tell the Big 12 what their decision is. What is the Big 12 gonna do when Mizzou and Nebraska say they will stay, and then a week later join the Big 10? Slap their wrist? Make fun of their teeth? No, you will then dish Texas to the Pac-10. This of course leaves the Kansas schools alone, lonely with their wheat and meth. In fact, Kansas is so lonely, that they are the only state that thinks the the Big 12 will make it through this mess.

That is denial at it's best. And what the fuck does Vermont have in this race?

Dustin' off the cobwebs like Luigi in his Mansion. You know that game right?

Where our counting defies logic.

It's been a well known fact for a while now that the Big 10 11, have been trying to expand. Like anthrax, the assholes in the Big 11 have been venturing into places that don't want them, including other power conferences that love and cherish their teams. This is of course old news, and it's sad that I've waited this long to talk about the topic, but I can explain officer. I only had like five shots. Double shots. And one beer bong.

Really though, my computer broke down. Again. It's almost as if Chevy made this laptop. But I digress.

Nazi Arnold wants to Pump (clap) You up

As a Big 12 student, I have taken notice of the Big 11's Nazi scheme to take over teams. Everyone is thinking "Well, it's just one team, and really, who cares who's conference Rutgers is in." But that's what we thought when Poland was invaded. Oh, well we can do without Sausages. And we can. Fuck Rutgers.

But, DON'T THINK THAT. These fuckers are maniacal. The are just easing you into the idea. Oh we just want Rutgers, but on the condition that we get a side order of Missouri (!) and Pittsburgh(?) and maybe Notre Dame and Syracuse (WTF). This has been deemed a "super-conference" by the media, and I like to think it's really just the Fuhrer's Conference scheme.

Picture and schedule are non existent, just like your restraint from sugary foods.

Now, no one really likes the Big 10, unless you are a part of it, just as everyone hated the Nazi's, as long as you weren't Juden hunting. And now they want our teams. Don't get me wrong, I hate Mizzou, but if you took them, I would be pissed. Why? Because it's a rivalry, and rivalries are kept in the same conference. USC and Notre Dame is the perfect example of this. No one really gives a shit. You don't mark it on your calendar. You don't want to kill the other team's fans. You don't care. They are in Indiana. You are in California. Total bullshit. And there really aren't any others. That's because they are as pointless as Ben Roethlisberger's "don't rape ladies" book.