Mark Zuckerberg Forgets Nothing.

Remember when the Pittsburgh Pirates were hit with that whole cocaine scandal? Me neither. That's because it predates my birth by four years. Facebook's creater, on the other hand, had lived outside the womb for about one year. And lo, the overlord of social networking has not forgotten the abomination:

Yeah, and you thought the Facebook hackings were inconsequential. Yay for word verification.

Where Has This Been All My Life?

Two and a half months after the conclusion of the 08-09 NBA season, I've stumbled upon the greatest "Where Amazing Happens" spoof EVER.

Watch, as I did, in awe and adoration:



Mmmm. That's chunky.

That's a Way to Get Off on the Right Foot

Or should I say knee. Welcome all fans of Kansas City who still have a soul left from the past decade of horrid sports teams. Of course, if your like me, your soul was ripped out a long time ago. It's about time to add more suffering and this years Chiefs to that list. Awesome news today stating that Matt Cassel, or should I say 60 million dollars, will not be starting the season, thanks to an MCL sprain in his left knee. Almost as if God was taunting us for the severing of Brady's CL's last year.  Damn you Pollard. (winks and air high fives)

Now it's going to be an exciting race to see which backup can get the starting job. Thigpen with the astounding QB rating of 74.7 or the talentless long haired douchebag Croyle with an even shittier 67.5 QB rating. Just a heads up for week one in your fantasy league. Pick the Ravens. You will win your match.

UPDATE.....
Now they cut Chan Gailey. Honestly, what the fuck. Unless Pete Carrol has been assigned to the offensive coordinator position....what the fuck. How random is this. The only thing I can imagine is that Haley was getting frustrated with the O-line schemes, and just blew up. That offensive line sucks. Bad. I mean really bad. I mean Michael Jackson "bad".

Herman Edwards' Perm is Giving Away Tickets to the 3-D USC-Ohio State Game at the Galen Center

I'm going to pretend like this is your first time on the site, which I obviously know it isn't. We're way too popular. Anyway, we reported last week that USC and Taylor Mays will appear in 3-D at the Galen Center when they battle Ohio State on Sept. 12. Since you were all too lazy to get off your keisters and pick up tickets for the event, the Perm has decided to bail you out. Here are the deets:

The best two comments on Herm's Perm posts, both past and present, will be rewarded with free tickets. If you post anonymously, sign your name or moniker at the bottom with an email address. Feel free to comment via text, video, photoshopped picture of Terrell Pryor being mutilated by Traveler - whatever you think will set yourself apart.

We will announce the winners on September 8, at which point we will ask them to email me (Bubb Rubb) to coordinate the ticket exchange.

Ground Rules:
1. The same person can win all of the tickets. This means if you have enough wit, sarcasm and creativity to impress Herm Edwards TWICE, then more power to you, ya cocky fuck.

2. Sullying the name of Herm Edwards is grounds for disqualification. Everything else is fair game.

That's it. Vaya con dios.

Tom Brady's Shoulder is Just Fine, Thank You.

The same can't be said about Kevin O'Connell's employment in the NFL. ESPN is reporting that the Pats cut the second-stringer because, apparently, not having a backup is still better than having Kevin O'Connell as one.

Bill Belichick's notorious use of smoke screens with the media is more prevalent than California forest fires, but it seems that this move is his way of saying "No, seriously. Brady is fine. I'll prove it by cutting our only backup. Sorry, I'm unfamiliar with the Brian Hoyer fellow that you keep referring to."

Here's the video of Brady being enveloped by 350 pounds of curb-stomping blubber.

Michigan Cheats-Still Suck

According to multiple sources from Michigan's football team in '08 and '09, the team has been flirting with NCAA violations right after the Lloyd (why the fuck does Lloyd need to L's?) Carr days. Now it's hit them with full force. The Michigan coaches were apparently practicing the team more than double what is allowed by the NCAA, and then listing those extra practice hours as 'injury prevention.' And you thought the state of Michigan couldn't look any worse. Probably the most disturbing part of this story though, is the fact that these practices actually made the team worse.

These accounts come from '08 and '09 which are the two major down seasons for the Wolverines. Sadly, the extra workout training proved useless when pined up against the likes of Appalachian State and Toledo. This makes for the worst kind of cheating, the kind that makes you degrade as a team. Now, Rich Rodriguez is going to have to explain himself. I mean, he broke the one rule you shouldn't break. It's the easiest one to get caught doing. That rule is probably the only rule in the book that is easy to understand, so there's no "I didn't know" excuse.

Really though, it's the Michigan fans that need an explanation. How can you work your team out more than double every other team, and then still lose nine games. There will be an investigation soon, most likely, and Ann Arbor is going to be swarmed with Rachael Nicholses. For all you students who choose Michigan for their sports prestige, maybe you should reconsider Michigan State. At least they have a basketball team.

Great Athletes Should Never be Considered Students. Ever.

For once, I will defend Tim Tebow. Jesus 2.0, if you will, is taking one class as a senior. As one Jew, to an incarnation of another, Mazel Tov.


Athletes like Tebow, especially at public universities, should never be considered "student-athletes." Tebow is a "true" senior - as in, he never served as a redshirt and still found a way to play football and graduate within four years. Matt Leinart, who won 37 games in 39 starts during a three year span, served as a redshirt throughout his tenure as a staple in the USC offense. As a fifth-year senior, it's perfectly acceptable to finish his education with one class. Lane Kiffin approves, and he's a BOSS.

But Tebow...after just four years? Is Florida a bunch of downed syndromes? Yes, they are. BUT, Tebow shouldn't be considered a student in the first place. Enrolling in general education classes about the history of Bill Cosby's Nigerian heritage have little relevance to Tebow's skills as a PROFESSIONAL ATHLETE. Although he chooses to bestow his knowledge upon audiences that could give a fuck less, his primary education is FOOTBALL.

The NFL lacks a system where legitimate athletes, who have no motivation to LEARN AND EDUCATE THEMSELVES, have an avenue to develop their physical skills sans the academic bullshit. AFL? Bankrupt. CFL? Big Brother-Controlled Pussy Shit.

I'm still clueless as to how Tebow is finishing his education in, essentially, three and a half years. Typical educations require 120 credits to graduate, which includes UF. That means in his first 3.5 years, Tebow took an average of approximately 17 credits per semester. Well...if you can juggle that with an Urban Meyer practice schedule and maintain a 3.77, then call me Schiavo and enroll me as a major in family, youth and community sciences.

Any critics of the system need to reevaluate the situation. I will forever be an advocate of athletes who bring their game to the collegiate level for the sole purpose of continuing their education to continue professionally. AS AN ATHLETE. These people have little reason for engaging in the classroom drivel. They are here to become professional SPORTSMEN. Not professional ACADEMICS. Throw footballs, shoot basketballs and hit baseballs. If you can't make it to a professional level, get an education. Yes, that goes for you water polo, soccer, track/field, poker and billiards players. If you're not a member of the latter group, fuck the books, lectures and general intellectual hoopla. It's cockamamie horseshit. Win games for your alma mater and return to donate money to the program.

So Tebow, be proud of your one-class excuse for a senior year. It's one more reason for USC to flaunt its dominance once TRUE FRESHMAN MATT BARKLEY plops his proverbial excrement all over your program. USC over Texas in the Natty. Revenge at the Rose Bowl.

Yeah, I spoiled my Permcast predictions, but only 'cuz there's a surprise for SC fans comin' up this week. Stay tuned.