B(r)eak 'Em (Rules) Hawks

Look who can't get enough press. Tyshawn Taylor. Speculation out of Lawrence today states that we have ourselves another fuck up, to say it lightly.

On September 13th, Markieff Morris, forward for the #1 Jayhawks, had a little fender bender on 17th and Tennessee (only three blocks away from the school's bars, but that's beside the point). According to the police report, Markieff was driving former Kansas forward, and Lawrence resident, Scott Pollard's Tahoe.

Let that soak in a bit.

 And he had a 16 year old in the car after midnight.

SOAK IT IN!

A Day in the Life of Tyshawn Taylor

I had the chance to tag along with fellow KU student Tyshawn Taylor yesterday, and man what an exciting day it was. I decided to transcribe it in all it's glory for all to see, a day in the life of Tyshawn Taylor.

Signs of life begin in the 314 room of Jayhawker Towers. A young man begins his early morning ritual of tossing his sheets off his bed, and in the process, kicking his slut of the night to the floor. He mumbles an incoherent set of words, followed by a line that all sluts have heard at one point or another. Time to move bitch our I'll Markieff your ass. (referring to Markieff Morris who shot an old lady last year with a pellet gun.). The whore leaves with a face of disappointment as Tyshawn logs onto his laptop and checks the Chad Ford's mock draft, only to see he has dropped out of the lottery. A few cuss words and a shower later he is ready for class.

Tyshawn walks to class everyday to keep his campus aura up. Although he is a clear third wheel to Cole Aldrich and Sherron Collins, he still gets, as he says, mad love from the students here. Lately though, the newspapers at KU have been a little too football oriented for Taylor's liking. I'm not sayin I hate the football team, but they (are) only ranked 19. Man we (are) ranked one. That's the best in the nation and I have a gold medal. I need face time. I'm from Jersey City. I'm from the slums and I was gonna go to Marquette, but thanks to a coaching change, I am here. People should be grateful even to have me. Clearly perturbed, he enters his class, African American Studies, and picks a seat next to Marcus Morris which is also the farthest seat from the professor. Conversation get's heavy as the two begin hating on the football team.

USC INSIDER: Chris Galippo Feature Tease

Sorry, but I refuse to sacrifice my insight into the Trojans' program, despite the disheartening loss suffered (technically) yesterday. The article, in full, will appear after its publication in the game program against Wazzu this upcoming weekend.

Hopefully it will be a win. Hopefully you will enjoy. As a preview, here is the picture of the person featured in the feature.
Redundant? Yeah.
Entertaining? I fucking hope so.


Just look at that tongue. Jordan-esque? Abso-fucking-lutely. If you don't know Galippo, you will. He will blow up faster than the Hindenburg and Hiroshima combined.

Corp can only set us back so far. Barkley will lead us to the promise land, in spite of the heretic's attempts to set us back. Tebow is but only a symbol that can and will be demolished by the rest of the collegiate field, freshman or otherwise.

In Barkley We Trust. And an equally emphatic: FUCK AARON CORP.

Aaron Corp: Pussy, Homo, Failure - Texts From Saturday

I'll concede that USC's shot at a National Championship seemed slim in the hands of a true freshman. I even expressed mild hesitance when Carroll announced that Barkley would start. But if someone told me that our championship hopes would be crushed by a quarterback with three years of collegiate experience - I'd tell you to get tested for retardation.

Yes, we fumbled thrice in the Washington territory. But Corp's performance at quarterback was disparagingly pathetic. He threw balls into double and triple coverage, as if to try and prove that he deserved to start over Barkley. His selfishness only proved that this person playing QB would have given USC a better shot of winning:

If Corp isn't cut by tomorrow, I hope he's at least behind Garrett Green on the quarterback depth chart. Fuck, Fuck, Fuck you Corp.

Here's Wilt with some positive KU news. Go choke on barbed wire, Corp.

We won. That's all. Todd Reesing whipped out his big floppy and grabbed the blue devils head and commenced to flogging. Then after all the bones were turned into mush, Todd made the devils suck it till he came, in the form of a 44 to 16 finish. Can I get a UNDEFEATED? (Bubb reaches for shotgun)

Luckily for all you readers, we transcribed our string of threads during the game put them below. Enjoy Bubbs depressed thoughts and my arrogant ones. As always, Wilt = blue and Bubb = red and these are word for word.

2:29 am-Shat is LA doing on s ku night

2:17 pm- cale pick yeahhhh

heeeeeyooooo cale pick

TOBEN

2:21- Stop. I'm trying to focus on the REAL game in the REAL conference.