John Calipari's Daughter Still Can't Evade Stalker

Erin Calipari, the lesser of the two Calipari daughters (as seen in the picture to the right), continues to experience a mysterious email invasion. She updated her Facebook status a few weeks back in an initial attempt to convince the person to cease and desist. A few days ago, Erin reiterated her message with a hint of sarcasm and I'm-funny-because-John-Calipari-is-my-father wit.

Friday Afternoon Substance Abuse: Week 10/ Exhibition

This is a weekly blog that compares the likes of college sports and addictive drugs, and then rolls it into a tight little blunt I like to call the Friday Afternoon Substance Abuse. If you don't know what the hell I'm talking about, then clearly you have participated in some Friday morning substance abuse. So get ready to sit Indian Native American style and stare at a bookshelf for 3 hours cause it's time to drop some acid.
 
I have almost no idea what happened last weekend in college football. I was stranded in domestic corn fields, hunting, and shooting absolutely nothing. Also, when you reside in Iowa, dish reception becomes extremely sketchy and the only game that comes in is the Iowa vs Indiana game. So, as an even more uneducated football writer, I will try to complete some predictions without horribly misconstruing the facts, but most likely with construe some facts any way just for shits and gigs.

Did You Just Say Dick Vitale Writes?

For those who have never heard of Fire Joe Morgan, then you should be ashamed. They created a blog just for the act of reading between the lines of poorly written baseball stories. Since they have shut down and moved on to bigger things, there has been a hole in the blogosphere for readers to revel in the idiocrocy that is mediocre sports writing. Doing my part to fix this, I have decided to take up where they left off, and give Dick Vitale what he has been needing for a long time -- someone to bring him down to earth.

Today's article: Le Moyne Stuns Syracuse in Exhibition

Bold = Dick Vitale
Italics = Wilt Stilts 

Leave Tom Cable Alone!

(Wilt Editor's Note: Bubb has always been a commander of the woman's equal rights movement. He is actively pursuing a degree in womens history with a minor in gynecology. He also has uses maxi pads daily, so don't label Bubb as a sexist. If anything you should be promoting this devotion.)

It's not enough that Tom Cable is stuck coaching a team that is the brunt of one-third of every NFL franchise joke (Browns, Redskins), and must educate a quarterback whose intellect would be complimented if called imbecilic. No, his world hasn't achieved an acceptable level of misery yet. Now, the coach is being ridiculed by the National Organization of Women (NOW), who want him ousted from his position.

Let's pause for a minute and appreciate that a group of woman organizers is called NOW. Women demanding immediacy?? Whodathunkit!

Twitter Feed Cements 2009: Year of the Front-Running Douchebag

As if all the douchebaggery wasn't apparent in the photos floating around the various news outlets today, lo and behold, we have our douchebag du jour firing up his Twitter feed.

Is this guy anyone important? No. Does crude stuff like this happen on the internet all the time? Yes. But let this serve as a reminder that this is what we all have to look forward to until next October. Further more, the front-running asshats of the world have had quite the year.

Hopefully, this doesn't cast a cloud over the prospect of having an enjoyable 2010. Wait, they are talking about WHO for an MVP?

Fuck.

Wrapping Up the Tim Floyd Saga

If you watched sports today, you might have observed that Tim Floyd was peppered  in among the bland (HAHA! Food wordplay!) and excessive coverage of World Series game six. Three cheers for the unofficial start of NCAA Basketball season!

It's been quite a ride here for the proprietors of the Perm. We'd like to conclude this epic day with a recap of the World Wide Leader's dedicated attention to our discovery, as well as give a few deserving shout-outs to those who made this video devour the Internetz like Kelly Clarkson in a buffet line. But first, another screen-grab:

Mr. Floyd, at one point, was perched atop the most popular search topics in all the land. And as it was so eloquently put by our newest member, number 908: "FUCK BIG BIRD."I'm sure that Tim is proud that he topped a list that also included a man fucking a horse.

Herm Rolling in Fly Kicks

I have spent the entire day reliving episodes of morning Sportcenter, and even though it is a live show every time, it still finds a way to be less interesting with every viewing. What doesn't get uninteresting are the antics of our man Herm. He's so light spirited. If I didn't know any better, I would think he kisses babies for a living. Herman is just smiles 100 percent of the time.

This isn't a new thing to most, though. Everyone knows of his friendly demeanor and exciting vocal tones, but what I didn't know was his love of Argyle.