Your Daily Tee en Ay Fix, Courtesy of Uncle Herm

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Yepum, We Dun' Get'em

Arrowhead stadium. 2:00. KANSAS STATE VS IOWA STATE. FARMAGEDDON! 

Sure, this is a battle that can only be compared to that of the autobots and decepticons (Can't stop the Transformers references). Why? Because they're both fucking gay. The two teams that will be duking it out in a lightly attended Arrowhead stadium on Saturday are the two lesser schools in their state. Enjoy the unforced fumbles and the arant passes during the game. It will be a shitfest. But when FARMAGEDDON comes around, the main attraction isn't the football, but the pregame activities.

Lamar Odom's Wedding Reeks of Class

This weekend marked the biggest event in the history of irrelevance since an Asian man and a blonde whore had eight kids, got their own TV program and then went splittsville.

Lamar Odom showed up for his wedding ceremony with Khloe Kardashian (more than you can say for half of the past Lakers season) and got "married." That term should be used more loosely than a Brett Favre "retirement."

The theme of the wedding appeared to be casual/who fucking cares, which is reflected in many of the guests' attire. It's also reflective of the feelings that the newlyweds have for each other. Pictures after the jump.

THIGPEN CAN PET FLIPPER NOW!

Uh oh. Looks like mom forgot to layoff the alcohol during pregnancy.

Can you say FAS?

This is the type of brains that only the U of noz Mizzou can spit out. Look at her confidence, and POISE. It's like Dirty Sanchez in the pocket. Nothing rattles her except the many brain contusions she suffered as a child. Cheering on her team as they squeaked by Nevada last Friday night. I am personally glad that my parents chose the Kansas side of the state line, due to that very picture above, and I'm betting that Tyler Thigpen is glad to get out of Missouri as well.

It's Inappropriate to Make Light of This Incident

USC's Senior Tailback Stafon Johnson dropped the bench press bar, which probably weighed no less than a "Biggest Loser" contestant, on his FUCKING NECK this morning. This reportedly (and understandably) led to Johnson spitting up blood and getting a trip to the hospital. In the unlikely chance that this injury ruins his football career, Johnson will surely have a bright future selling neck-strengthening equipment.

In honor of Stafon's trooper-ness, here are some other gruesome sports injuries. Soccer has been excluded because players flop so often that any apparent injury, no matter how legitimate it appears, has lost all credibility.

GObama, Tell Denmark Who They're Daddy is

When most people think of Copenhagen, they think of ruff ridin' douchebag cowboys who don't recognize that half their lip has disintegrated into a black swollen mess of tobacco. What does Obama think of Copenhagen? OLYMPICS.

This Friday, the committee that oversees the location of the 2016 Olympics will make their decision on where that bad boy will be. Chicago is in the running, and being the former Senator from Illinois and friend of the Windy City, Obama has a willingness to bring the Olympics back to the US. He's planning a trip to use his unrelenting personal speaking ability to force their hand. Of course, he could just enact an embargo against Denmark til we get what we want. Isn't that what we do as Americans? *cough*MichaelCrabtree*cough*.

But why waste the time? We are losing our stranglehold on the world, and that world we all expect to be there in seven years wont be around in three. Unless you're looking for an Olympics filled with little woodland creatures that avoid the human pulverizing blast, there won't be much of an audience for the games.