Back son.

As expected the NCAA today stated that the new and "improved(?)" basketball system with 68 teams. And guess what happened? EXACTLY WHAT WAS EXPECTED. This means you Niagra, and yes you, Morehead State will now not even count in this tournament, and hopefully SHAFT THE FUCK OUT OF NORTHERN IOWA.

This now means that the basketball tournament will have an increase in talented team and a decrease in shit teams.What was before considered the first round of the tournament will now officially be known as the the second round (according to the NCAA) with the first round of games changed to the first four play-in games. This of course will change in 8 months when everyone forgets this and goes back to the old way of doing things. The first games don't matter and the other 64 teams do, and matter even more with better teams and better channels.

Then we can all drink and enjoy the USC's and the Boston College's instead of the Idaho State School of the Blind's.

As for site news, there will begin to be more and more posts coming up to the football season for college and as we approach August and now that the World Cup is over. I've hired Paul the squid to help me with the Friday Afternoon Substance Abuse posts. He's struggling with his new found fame. I found him last night passed out with a bag of coke and an Asian stripper. He's so cool.

College ROFLball: You're Drafted!

UPDATE: Nebraska has taken the cyanide. The Big 12 is done

DEY JUST FLIPPED DA GAME UPSIDE DOWN

Someone leaked the info today that the Big 12's ultimatum worked ... for the Big 10. They are officially gone tomorrow at a press conference scheduled sometime between the Big 12 is fucked and Kansas is really fucked. Mizzou is gone for sure. Reports say that Texas is ready to accept the Pac-10 severence package with Colorado and without Baylor.

Meanwhile in Kansas...

WHY DON'T YOU WANT OUR GOLDEN WHEAT PASTURES?

Hey, look. Everybody cares about Big 10 expansion now. Now that the Big 12 is fumbling the situation like Adrian Peterson. The Pac-10 has jumped in for all of Texas because they like steakhouses and conservatives. Wait...

And Nebraska and Mizzou are on a deadline for Friday to make a decision to the Big 12 on what their intentions are. This deadline will have no effect, considering they have no reason to tell the Big 12 what their decision is. What is the Big 12 gonna do when Mizzou and Nebraska say they will stay, and then a week later join the Big 10? Slap their wrist? Make fun of their teeth? No, you will then dish Texas to the Pac-10. This of course leaves the Kansas schools alone, lonely with their wheat and meth. In fact, Kansas is so lonely, that they are the only state that thinks the the Big 12 will make it through this mess.

That is denial at it's best. And what the fuck does Vermont have in this race?

Frat guy D-Row: Transfers

BRO'S! I'm back with avengence. You know. Like the Avengers. You see Iron Man 2? Such a story line. I wish more movies were written like than, and did you see Samuel Jackson being the one eyed dude? Shit was of the chain like Jibbs.

(doesn't realize the dated reference to one and done rapper, and flashes shocker for emphasis)

Anyways, one thing I noticed was Scarlette's tities, which makes me think about the time I took this freshman to the bars and got her so wasted she blew me behind the DJ table. Then she told me she was a freshman in high school, but it was ok brah. She won't remember that night, thanks to the rufie-meister shot I gave her.

(thinks about how cool that was)

This all brings me to my point which is people transferring schools. You know brah, I once thought about transferring Frats once, because my bro Matty wrote "dickwad" on my forehead when I passed out once. I was so pissed I punched some drywall, but, then I went and did some bench presses to cool me down. So, when I heard about the Wear twins from UNC transferring schools I was like "Yo brahs, go do some BP's and think about that shit" but then I was all, "UCLA is cool too."

(Brushes off shoulders like Jay-Z, even though the cultural reference is from five years ago)

But, why would you ever tranfer bro? I mean, all that paper work that I would make my parents do is so much work. You have to tell your parents to apply for you and shit. For realz too much work. At least they aren't going to a school that isn't powder blue. That color is the best color. It's not like blue but it's not white. IT'S SO BRO. Anyways, I wrote a rap about the color. I'll lay it down for you bros.

I see a tan bitch
And I don't know her name
She's wearin powder blue
You know I got game.

THAT'S THE SHIT. Sign me up Busta Rhymes. I'm fucking hella awesome.

(Gets a neck tat)

I've got some advice for the Wear bros. Find a real tight ho that you can plow, and then plow that shit like a little Asian rice farmer. And then go to UCLA the next day. It would be fucking EPIC brahs. She'd be all like, "Where did he go?" and you'd be all, "I'M IN LA BITCH."

(rapes pre-teen)

On a G note though, make sure you get good grades and shit, and DEFF join SIG NATION baby. Frats are dominant, and you want to be dominant low post players, so you join the frat. You get laid and paid, and then you have the street rep to win the Pac-10. There it is brahs. Follow the creed and you will be the best ever. Better than my favorite player ever, Tyler Hans-brah.

Well, gotta go take finals, and by take final, I mean find a nerd to pay to do my final. That's what I always say, "Mo work, Mo problems, just find a bitch to do it."

D-ROW OUT!

Lebron skipped college, BUT HE WANT THE EXPERIENCE OF GETTING PAID BY CALIPARI ANYWAYS

It's a well known fact around these parts that I am a huge John Calipari hater. If facebook had a dislike button, I would hit it non stop on Calipari's fan page. If I had a chance at exposing Calipari's money laundering schemes, I would do anything to break the story. Blow J's included. He is the vain of my existence.

He is like Darth Vader, the way he left Kansas as an assistant, and then went on to totally not being cool. He had Xavier in his lap before he left for Kentucky. He stole John Wall. He almost stole Josh Selby. He almost beat us in 2008. I have a dart board with his face on it. And when a play darts, I use grenades. I hate him more than immigrants hate Arizona. I hate him more than Al Gore hates BP.

"Ladies and Gentleman: This is a basketball"

You know who I do like though? Lebron James. And even with the loss last night, I still like him. And from the sounds of it, I better be prepared to like him even more. Here's why. Read that link. Read it hard, because I sure as hell did.

It basically states that Lebron is using his posse to drag Calipari to the team of his choosing in the Free Agent cumfest 2010. This means many things.

One - Calipari will be leaving the college basketball for a long time, because he has Lebron. He won't get fired, because he has Lebron. He doesn't even have to coach, which is his forte, because he has Lebron.

Two - He will be leaving Kentucky after one year, creating a void at Kentucky, where the most obnoxious fans reside (apart from Duke of course). Then they will suck again. And then, maybe they can take a third Kansas assistant coach in a row to coach their team as Kansas itself passes them in the all time wins category.

The King request's your services Calipari

Three - Calipari will look even more douchy than before. I didn't think it was possible at this stage, but Calipari has to one up himself every time. Now, not only will Memphis, UMass, and Nets fans hate him, but the most winningest basketball school (for now) will hate him.

Fourth - As a result of 1-3 I will cum uncontrollably, and as everyone knows, cumming is awesome.

So, what was Cleveland's loss, will become my win, and all of Kansas' win, and all of college basketball's win. And with the new collective bargaining agreement in the NBA, there is a chance that the one-and-done rule will be eliminated for a two or three and done rule, with the best recruiter in the nation at Kansas. Oh shit, Oh shit ... I need new pants.

Hermpermventilating

I've been getting way worked up about this Big 10 expansion. For some reason no one outside of the Big 12 is. Seems weird because it's TOTALLY FUCKING UP MY WEEK. From what I've heard though, the Pac-10 is coming to Kansas City tomorrow to talk SUPER CONFERENCE and SUPER BROADCASTING. It's the Big 12's last ditch effort at keeping Mizzou and Nebraska in the conference. If that fails, the Big 12 looks like it will be dismembered faster than a koala fighting a Kraken.

I've already shoved this down your throat, and then made you regurgitate it, and then shove it down even further, but this is such a fucked situation. So fucked, that I had to call in Herm for a new segment I like to call, WHAT IT IS HERM?!



Video may not be working because Youtube is straight Younotworking. If it does, then enjoy.