May 26, 2010

Frat guy D-Row: Transfers

BRO'S! I'm back with avengence. You know. Like the Avengers. You see Iron Man 2? Such a story line. I wish more movies were written like than, and did you see Samuel Jackson being the one eyed dude? Shit was of the chain like Jibbs.

(doesn't realize the dated reference to one and done rapper, and flashes shocker for emphasis)

Anyways, one thing I noticed was Scarlette's tities, which makes me think about the time I took this freshman to the bars and got her so wasted she blew me behind the DJ table. Then she told me she was a freshman in high school, but it was ok brah. She won't remember that night, thanks to the rufie-meister shot I gave her.

(thinks about how cool that was)

This all brings me to my point which is people transferring schools. You know brah, I once thought about transferring Frats once, because my bro Matty wrote "dickwad" on my forehead when I passed out once. I was so pissed I punched some drywall, but, then I went and did some bench presses to cool me down. So, when I heard about the Wear twins from UNC transferring schools I was like "Yo brahs, go do some BP's and think about that shit" but then I was all, "UCLA is cool too."

(Brushes off shoulders like Jay-Z, even though the cultural reference is from five years ago)

But, why would you ever tranfer bro? I mean, all that paper work that I would make my parents do is so much work. You have to tell your parents to apply for you and shit. For realz too much work. At least they aren't going to a school that isn't powder blue. That color is the best color. It's not like blue but it's not white. IT'S SO BRO. Anyways, I wrote a rap about the color. I'll lay it down for you bros.

I see a tan bitch
And I don't know her name
She's wearin powder blue
You know I got game.

THAT'S THE SHIT. Sign me up Busta Rhymes. I'm fucking hella awesome.

(Gets a neck tat)

I've got some advice for the Wear bros. Find a real tight ho that you can plow, and then plow that shit like a little Asian rice farmer. And then go to UCLA the next day. It would be fucking EPIC brahs. She'd be all like, "Where did he go?" and you'd be all, "I'M IN LA BITCH."

(rapes pre-teen)

On a G note though, make sure you get good grades and shit, and DEFF join SIG NATION baby. Frats are dominant, and you want to be dominant low post players, so you join the frat. You get laid and paid, and then you have the street rep to win the Pac-10. There it is brahs. Follow the creed and you will be the best ever. Better than my favorite player ever, Tyler Hans-brah.

Well, gotta go take finals, and by take final, I mean find a nerd to pay to do my final. That's what I always say, "Mo work, Mo problems, just find a bitch to do it."