November 28, 2009

HAPPY TURDUCKEN, HERM'S PERM! Dammit, this is tiresome.

How many of you love the movie "Clovervield?" If you don't, then stop reading Herm's Perm. I'm serious. J.J. Abrams worked hard on that movie. That film conquered Godzilla in one try. When else have the Americans dominated the Japanese so decisively.

Oh. Hiroshima.



Happy Fourth, y'all...CELEBRATE!

Well here's "Clover," contrasted with your favorite Herm's Permer. If it doesn't ignite memories...well...fuck my word choice. Try to enjoy.

November 25, 2009

Ted Ginn Jr. is the new Braylon Edwards

Although the sport's name is slightly misleading, Ted Ginn Jr. has failed to grasp the concept that football requires a proficient use of one's hands. Ginn's display of dexterity (or lack thereof) has relieved last year's (Braylon) Edward Bobblehands of his duties, who now gets to watch Mark Sanchez's passes soar over his head instead.

Maybe Ginn just refuses to catch Chad Henne's passes because he went to Michigan. Or maybe Ginn just sucks ass. Let's have Snoop Dogg decide:

November 23, 2009

Dick Vitale writes?! Memphis is good? Naw.

For those who have never heard of Fire Joe Morgan, then you should be ashamed. They created a blog just for the act of reading between the lines of poorly written baseball stories. Since they have shut down and moved on to bigger things, there has been a hole in the blogosphere for readers to revel in the idiocrocy that is mediocre sports writing. Doing my part to fix this, I have decided to take up where they left off, and give Dick Vitale what he has been needing for a long time -- someone to bring him down to earth.

Wilt Stilts in blue.

Dick Vitale in BOLD BABY!

Perm Hall of Fame: Baron Davis

In recognition of, quite possibly, one of the most overlooked holidays in the winter months, Herm's Perm honors Baron Davis and his beard as part of the No Shave November celebration.

November 22, 2009

SARS: attempting to contain the epidemic

There is a distinct image of Charlie Weis walking, arm-in-arm with his team - Jimmy Clausen included - to failure. This image is more valuable than a D-Wade posterization of Anderson Varejapussy.

Anyway, I know what you're here for. You're here to rip on Wilt's Miss Cleo-like predictions. Hey, me too! Put on your SARS mask, 'cuz we about to fumigate this BITCH.