April 15, 2010

Frat guy D-Row here to talk about Brandon Knight

Yo brah's. Just got done sleeping through my 10 am class and figured I do something productive with my day. At least until I get that KEGGER POPPIN' WHA WHAA! (Raises the Roof)

I hear this guy, what's his name Brandon Knight? He signed with my favorite coach ever. EVER BRAH! John Calipari. Love that dude. He does what he has to. If he needs a recruit, then he'll just dish him a few greenbacks to get him on his roster. He's just like me. If I need to get laid, then I just buy my lady a ruficolada. SHIT WORKS BRAH. (Reverses trucker hat)

And I really like Brandon Knight. Brah can ball up real tight yo. But I would like him a lot more if he did his name up all bro you know. Like my name. D-Row. My parents back at the Hamptons named me Derrick Rowland, but you know what? I gotta G up my name. That's when my frat bro T-Dawg came up with my brilliant name. D-Row. And it's rhymes with bro so you know it's bro. (Pops collar)

April 14, 2010

USC has a good running back. HO–HUM

You'd think, well Pete Carrol is done so they suck now right? NO. Shove that idea right back up your nostril and rethink it. Here's why. (Fast forward to the :45 second mark)

Poor Pac-10. This is the backup running back. You might as well give up. Hell, Oregon is already trying to give up. This means that Bubb can go back to gloating his prized football tradition again... if he ever writes here again. **cough cough***

As for the rest of the country, you also better prepare the rape kit. Remember that hay day for USC football. Their coaches are there now, and are pissed. Not sure what at, I mean, it's goddamn sunny and 70 every day there. AND NO TORNADOES!

Anyways, give Matt Barkley the sophmore talent increase (which excludes players that should have taken that basketball scholarship **cough Terrelle Pryor cough**) and the USC running back firtility pool and you are looking at one of the best teams in the nation. Fucking assholes.

At KU, we have to drag non scholarship basketball players onto the practice field to create a little competition. God, fuck football, but GO EQUAL OPPORTUNITY!

April 12, 2010

Well fuck you Duke.

You may have wondered where the pissed-off-at-Duke posts have been this past week. Well, they were sitting in my dormant hard drive that decided to end itself Saturday morning, just before the begining of the semi-finals of the NCAA tournament. I'd like to attribute this hard drive failure to the copious amounts of porn that I download, the many times I drunkenly dropped my laptop, and of course Duke. Mostly Duke.

Here are a few of the things that can be attributed to Duke as well –

Kobe Byrant is now a gold medalist.

White people in striped polos inevitably look like douches

JJ Reddick


Cancellation of Flight of the Concords

Jay Bilas

The degradation of the caucasian race

Ugly people

Stealing titles from mid-major teams by paying off the refs

If only Gordon Hayward had hit that shot. The misery emanating from those blue and white douche-gays would feed my empty soul. Empty soul left from the upper half of Iowa. Still not over it. And Xavier Henry. You, you're a douche.