College ROFLball: Week 4 football

FASA - Week 4

YOU JUST GOT OUT-CAUCASIAN'D

Another week another lack of posts. It's ok. You won't read it anyways. You just wanna get drunk. Fine. LETS GET TO IT.

6 - Touchdown

4 - Tackle in backfield

5 - Tipped pass

FRIDAY

IT'S TOO LATE ALREADY. JUST DRINK WHEN TCU COMPLETES A PASS.

SATURDAY

Best future draft bust EVER!!:)

Bowling Green vs Michigan - 12pm et - ESPN2

1 - Denard Robinson runs

2 - Denard completes a pass

3 - Kamar Jorden catches a pass

4 - "Heisman"

5 - "Terrelle Pryor"

700 - Michigan's dormant volcano explodes and kills Rich Rodriguez only.

Finish 2 beers for a Bowling Green win. Prepare for the good games

I rely on G. Gilbert. Suck on it.

UCLA vs Texas - 3:30 pm et - ABC or ESPN or ESPN2

1- "Texas running game"

2 - Garret Gilbert completes a pass

3 - Kevin Prince incomplete pass

4 - Johnathan Franklin TD run

5 - Garret Gilbert pick

500 - UCLA starts having intercourse with themselves and complete the phrase UCL-GAY.

Finish 2 more beers for a UCLGAY win. Better games are cumming.

IS THAT MICHAEL VICK?

Oregon State vs Boise State - 8 pm et - ABC

1 - Kellen Moore completion

2 - Jaquizz Rodgers run

3 - "BCS team"

4 - Kellen Moore TD

5 - "Heisman"

600 -  Groups from Westboro Baptist come on the field and take Kellen Moore away because they think the name Kellen is gay.

Finish a beer if Oregon State wins. Then make your night like your house. OWN IT. OWN THAT SHIT. FUCK BEN BERNANKE.

SONG THAT WOULD TOP THE BCS RANKINGS FOR THE WEEK.



HERM SPERM

Selma Hayek is hot. Not just because of the boobs. Well, yeah, because of the boobs. But she also has a hot accent. And a umm .....(drools)....What was that? Oh yeah nice boobies.

 

Why yes, I have exquisite tits.

College ROFLball: Week Two Football

FASA - Week 3

Just gonna do photos. This is James Simms. He has a flat top and protects it with a doo rag.

Again, this week contained limited posts, but that's what Halo Reach will do to you. Anyways, after a good set of games last week, we follow up with a large pile of gay condoms. Lots of AIDS this week. Only one ranked match up, and it's at fucking 10 o'clock eastern. Fucking scheduling people. What does it mean?

7 - Touchdown

9 - Interception

6 - Sack


FRIDAY

Kansas vs Mississippi State - ESPN - 8 pm et

1 - James Simms gets a carry

2 - Southern Miss gets a first down

3 - Daymond Patterson touches the ball

4 - Southern Miss runs the option.

5 - "Georgia Tech win"

600 - Brett Farve is at the game and injures his throat from cheering.

Kill yourself if KU loses this game. Seriously. We beat fucking Georgia Tech.

SATURDAY

Arkansas vs Georgia - ESPN - 12pm et.

1 - "AJ Green"

2 - (AJ Green)

3 - Run for 5 yards or more

4 - Pass for 15 yards or more.

5 - Passing touchdown

100 - Ryan Mallet does a Gallagher and starts smashing objects on the sideline with a mallet.

Drink at will for a Georgia win. It's really not an upset. They're favored.


 USC vs Minnesota - ESPN -  3:30 pm et

1- Minnesota completion

2 - Dillon Baxter touch

3 - Ronald Johnson touch

4 - Minnesota first down

5 - Matt Barkley throws a pick

800 - It snows in Minnesota

Finish your beer and then eat a cheese brat if Minnesota wins.


Texas vs Texas Tech - ABC - 8pm et

1 - Reference the game two years ago

2 - (the game two years ago)

3 - "Colt McCoy"

4 - "Michael Crabtree"

5 - Taylor Potts throws a TD

400 - Tommy Tubberville sends someone to the shed.

Finish a beer and finish yourself off because Texas Tech won.



Iowa vs Arizona State - ESPN - 10:30pm et

1 - Rick Stanzi completes a pass

2 - Adam Robinson breaks a 5 yard carry

3 - "BCS"

4 - Nick Foles throws a pick

5 - Nic Grigsby breaks a tackle

600 - Kirk Ferentz makes sex with a cougar on the sideline.

Drink some shots with varying amounts of volume for an Arizona win.

SONG THAT WOULD RANK #1 IN THE BCS POLLS



Herm Sperm

This is Allison Brie. She is the love of all things internet. Hot, but not slutty, and very promiscuous. Did I mention hot?

College ROFLball: Week Two Football