March 4, 2011

Klay Thompson Ridin' Dirty

Two guys sitting in a GMC Envoy outside dorms.


Klay Thompson - UGH. Crazy game tonight huh Faisal. 


Faisal Aden - What?

Thompson - I said, 'crazy game last night'

Aden - Yeah. (reaches in pocket)

Thompson - What are you getting ou–

Aden - Weed.

Thompson - WHAT?!!?! Dude, do you know what my parents would do if I brought their car back with the smell of weed in i–

Aden - Chill bro. I got this Wiz Khalifa CD. Put it in the player. (pulls out rolling papers)

Thompson - NO YOU CAN'T SMO– Hold on. I don't like arab music.

Aden - (licks paper) Not arab. (rolls paper)

Thompson - Seriously Faisal. Stop making that weed.

Aden - (puts cd in) Just chill dude. I got this.

Thompson - I don't doubt that you d–

Aden - ARE YOU RACIST MUTHA FUCKA?

Thompson - Wha–

Aden - JUST CUZ I'M BLACK, YOU ASSUUUUMMMME THAT I KNOW HOW TO SMOKE WEED?!?!

Thompson - Well... you did just roll a joint in like 4 sec–

Aden - START THE FUCKING CAR KLAY. BEFORE I LIGHT THIS JOINT AND PUT IT OUT ON YOUR NECK.

Thompson - Fine. (starts car) So where are we going?

Aden - To Mount Fiji (lights joint)

Thompson - How 'bout a place in legitimate driving distance.

Aden - In that case (takes hit and holds) Mt. St. Hellens (lets hit go) PFTHEHAHEHEHE!

Thompson - No seriously. Where. 

Aden - Juss to mah house (takes hit) Oh I luv this joint. (turns up song.)

Thompson - Alright.

(gets to house)

Aden - Alright. I'm out.

Thompson - Alright. Don't forget your CD.

Aden - Aw shit. yeah. Thanks.

Thompson - Yeah. No problem.

(Aden closes door)

FUCKING ASSHOLE. Where the fuck is my fabreze? Oh here it is. What? Dammit Aiden. left your fuckin wee–

(knock on window)

Thompson - SHIT.

(rolls down window)

Officer Gary - Did you know that your rear driver side brake light is – (nose crinkles) Sir have you been smoking marijuana?

Thompson - Uhh, no sir ossiffer.

Officer Gary - Step out of the car please.

Thompson - Uh, sure. I swear it is my friend's.

Officer Gary - You just said you didn't have anything.

Thompson - Ummm–

Officer Gary - I'm gonna do a quick search. (searches car) What is this?

Thompson - School project?

Officer Gary - Oh ok.

Thompson  - Really?

Officer Gary - NOPE! You're gonna need to find a ride. Did you know that a ticket for Marijuana is a 400 dollar fine and six months diversion. 

Thompson - No. It's really not mi–

Officer Gary - And it also will dissapoint your parents

Thompson -But it was my fien–

Officer Gary - And I'm sure it will keep you out the UCLA game.

Thompson - Wha?

(Officer Gary pulls out note pad with Bruins logo on it)

Thompson - Shit

Officer Gary - Yep (finishes ticket. Get's back in car) SEE YA KLAY!



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