September 10, 2010

FASA - Week 2

STILL NOT RIGHT BUT DEAL WITH IT. ALCOHOL CAN BE A DRUG. IF YOU SUCK AT IT.

This week lacked the posts I was hoping to provide, but Kansas lost to North Dakota STATE. I've been using that excuse for everything this week. Hey, you wanna go to class today? NORTH DAKOTA STATE! (Goes back to bed, puts pillows over ears, and rolls around).

But, at last, the weekend is here and I can drink again. And you better bet that I will not remember the Georgia Tech game tomorrow at 11. As for your buzz? We'll I will help supply your consumption guidelines. The games this week are so much better than last week's.

Numbers stand for amount of drinks and the statement guides you as to when you are supposed to drink those drinks. Quotes signal things the announcers say. Parenthesis signal a camera shot of something. Let's GOOOOOOO... (Puts on North Dakota State Bison mascot head)

6 - Interceptions

2 - First downs

5 - Option plays

FRIDAY:
YOU DON'T HAVE TO BLOW ME FOR BLOCKING?!

West Virginia @ Marshall - 7 et - ESPN

1 - Noel Devine has a rush attempt

2 - Marshall first downs

3 - West Virginia kicks through goal posts.

4 - "Rich Rodriguez"

5 - Marshall scores

300 - If Marshall's airplane crashes into the West Virginia practice.

Finish a beer if Marshall covers the spread (13)

SATURDAY:
Catching NCAA allegations.

Georgia vs South Carolina - 12 et - ESPN 2

1 - Marcus Lattimore gets a touch

2 - Georgia throws for a first down

3 - "Steve Spurrier"

4 - "A.J. Green + suspended"

5 -  "NCAA investigates South Carolina"

200 - Stephen Garcia does Cock Pushups

Finish a beer no matter the outcome. It's fucking Saturday. Act like it's Saturday.



Proper form means nothing to Jacory
Miami vs Ohio State - 3:30 et - ESPN

1 - Terrelle Pryor runs

2 - Jacory Harris runs

3 - Leonard Hankerson touches the ball

4 - (Jim Tressel and his vest)

5 - Terrelle Pryor throws a pick

200 - The quarterbacks stop and ask Jim Tressel for reparations.

Crack a beer open like Willis McGahee's knee and down it for a Miami win.

I'm touchin' mah dick.
Penn State vs Alabama - 7 et - ESPN

1 - (Erin Andrews)

2 - "Erin Andrews"

3 - "Mark Ingram + injury"

4 - "Joe Paterno + old"

5 - Penn State advances into Alabama territory

300 - If Joe Paterno dies on the sideline. This goes for every week.

Finish 2 beers in less than ten minutes if Penn State "Nitts" their way to a win. I'm ashamed of that joke.


SONG THAT WOULD RANK #1 IN THE BCS RANKINGS FOR THIS WEEKEND


 

XV is from Kansas and just dropped his mixtape, "VizzyZone" and if you don't have it already, get it.


Herm Sperm



In honor of her doing things in Machete which I haven't seen. Probably sex or something. Or dying. Who knows.

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