January 14, 2011

Adrian Peterson: Career Killer

It's been a while. My new years resolution this year was to contributed consistently on the blog, but due to my chronic procrastination, have waited until the 14th of January to start. That's a good sign. Clearly my determination to get into the RED ZONE, will prevail and there will be posts aplenty. Also, the site has moved back to blogspot because college is expensive, even if it only costs 10 dollars a year for a service charge for a big boy website. Anyways, I'm rusty so don't make fun of me.


Adrian Peterson is one of my favorite players to step on the field in Minnesota at the running back position. He's tough, he's rough, and occasionally has a muff, but all things said, you tend to hope a bruiser could actually be a nice guy off the field. NAY. He is a man that sees that laws do not apply to him. He once doubled the speed limit, just to show his new car off to the Minneapolis police department. Now he's at it again.
Mazda, this is your new sponsor. ZOOM ZOOM MUH FUCKAH

Definition of "Durr"
If you remember, the Vikings played football this year about as well as Kevin James plays a deep/interesting/intelligent character. Of course I mean they played like shit. And this was no way entirely Adrian Peterson's fault, but after this recent news, maybe it was his doing.

According to reports (YAHOOO!) apparently Brad Childress isn't the only victim to be axed from his employer thanks to the moves by Adrian Peterson.

A couple of weeks ago, Adrian Peterson was out on the town, most likely cruising upwards of triple the speed limit, and had an urge. An urge to release urine upon a McDonalds bathroom. This of course is quite common for most men in the Minnesota area, because it's where they spend 70% of their day, so comfort with the McD's B-room is not surprising.

What is surprising is that at 3 a.m., someone would let a strange black guy in their place of business. This of course is an offense that must be punished if you are the owner of such an establishment. God forbid you allow one person into the store after 3, but even though you don't allow the homeless guys in when they are looking for toilette to cuddle up with, I think you can make an exception for the leading rusher in the league, and the best running back in the league AND THE FACE OF MINNESOTA.

So Eff U McDonalds. If only you gave the reigns of your company to Grimace McGriddle, only then would have you have a company worth paying the stock price for.

2 comments: