December 3, 2009

Adrian's Peterson doesn't like speed limits.

When you think of the Purple Jesus, what do you think of? Athleticism that only Hercules possesses. Badass eyes that pierce the souls of every man, woman and child. Speed that only Hurricane Katrina's wind could produce. Well, after Saturday's little stunt, we now know he isn't afraid to flaunt these talents off the football field.

Before running through the Bears defense, AP went off on some pavement to vent some of his needed speed release without taking the actual drug. So what did he do? Jump inside his BMW (7 series I assume) and floored that shit like he was on the autobahn.

By going double the speed limit (109 in a 55), not only was he getting his Emile Hirsch on, but he was also getting his increased insurance premium on. That's what I call badass. I now proclaim him Speed Racdrian. Nothing can stop him, not even Howie Long's shitty Chevy. And for the sequel of Speed Racer (or probably the remake) the Wachowski brothers need to re-cast with the Radrian. Just look, he has the face for the character already.

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