December 20, 2009

Battle of the year. Cannan vs Wilt

This was a game that will be remembered for centuries to come. Little Kid Cudi's will tell of the day where Jim Brown's record for most rushing yards in one game was shattered by the Kansas City defense (and Jerome Harrison). Little Tim McGraw's in Kansas City will remember this day as Black Sunday, where not only did they have to go to church at nine in the morning, but then wouldn't even have the satisfaction of watching Jamaal Charles become Priest Holmes Jr.

A blackout landed in Kansas City, that even if I had wanted to watch the game on CBS (which isn't that satisfying in it's own right), I would have to travel to Abeline Kansas. Only a short trip of 106 miles and half way to fucking Colorado. Keep in mind that I live in Lawrence, KS, which just so happens to be another 40 miles from Arrowhead stadium. This was the first time since I was one year old, that the Chiefs had not been on television here.

Steve DeBerg was the QB back then, and the Nigerian Nightmare (still think that is a racist name), Christian Okoye was the running back. Derrick Thomas was a cute little sophomore linebacker on that team. To put that in perspective for you, he is dead now.

So, as you all know, the Chiefs suck major penis. So much penis that they might as well be a meat grinder, especially with Todd Haley's teeth. But not to leave Cannan out of the shitfest, the Browns came in gargling balls as well.  Their QB is better known for putting his hands on more crotches than he's put balls in other guys hands. Wait. Balls in recievers hands. Wait. Footballs in recievers hands. Yes.

So, when Jerome Harrison came out and took Jim Brown's record for most yards, and for most inconceivable asshole to steal a legend's record, people were stunned. But, not to be out done, Josh Cribbs, or as we know him here-Dreaddula, took two kick returns back, breaking the record for most in a season, and padding that record by one. Which returner did he beat to get this record? Donte Hall.

For a game that was watched by very few in the nation, quite a lot happened. Oh, and there is Jamaal Charles who went for 150 rushing with a TD and had two catches, but more importantly gave me 28 points in the first round of the playoffs, most likely propelling me to the second round. So, for the billions of you out there that don't give a shit about our towns' shitty sports, fuck you. Sometimes total failures become totally awesome, even if it comes at the expense of the record books.


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