January 22, 2013

Lady's face talks. No relevant information contributed.

This girl, Diane O'Meara, talked on the Today Show ... today. Why does it matter? It doesn't. She was just someone who had their photos taken on facebook. That's not something new. I'm pretty sure somewhere in Europe, they are using a fabulous photo of me to sell Cadbury Eggs. It's not a big deal. I wouldn't go on the Today Show and tell people how I got defamed by the Cadbury Egg corporation.

 "I don't even like milk chocolate. I'm a dark chocolate kind of man. As in I like very dark black women. What were we talking about again? Oh, and I don't like eggs, because I don't want to impregnate them. Very dark black woman eggs. So, how's your day going Matt Lauer?"

Anyways, the only reason it is news is because she's pretty hot. And hot people get ratings. Like Jennifer Lopez or Ann Coulter.

The biggest part of the story is that she's a 23 year old marketing executive in Los Angeles. How do you become an executive two years out of college. QUID PRO QUO. THAT'S HOW. NEW STORY ANGLE. WHY IS DIANE O'MEARA SUCH A SLUT? ANSWER ME THIS AMERICAN MEDIA.

Other, angles that would be more provocative include:

Is this the hottest "Diane" ever? Seriously, Diane is an ugly girls name.

Should she take the name of Lennay, which is way hot? In an Of Mice and Men way. Like how she'll crush your penis like a rabbit. That's hot right?

O'meara, but you're not Irish?

Pull a Murray, and secretly invite Manti T'e'o for a date with Diane. They fall in love. IRONY REIGNS SUPREME.


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