This guy thinks things are retarded.

JOE FACKIN FLACCO HERE. JUST WANTED EVERYONE TO KNOW, THAT OUTSIDE OF MY HOUSE, I CAN YELL ALL I WANT. I TOLD MY WIFE, WHO IS CURRENTLY BEING AN ON-THE-RAG BITCH, THAT I DO WHAT I WANT, SO LONG AS SHE DOESN'T HEAR, SEE OR FEEL IT.

NOW, IN REGARDS TO THIS SUPER BOWL, I WOULD LIKE TO THANK THE CITY OF NEW ORLEANS FOR LETTING ME SCREAM AT PELICANS. THANK YOU. SUCH A GREAT CITY TO HOST A FOOTBALL CHARADE. THAT'S RIGHT. A CHARADE. THAT'S FRENCH FOR PUSSY PLAY. BECAUSE NEXT YEAR, WHEN I'M HERE AGAIN, CLEARLY, THE SUPER BOWL WILL BE IN THAT FACKIN RETARD TOWN OF NEW YORK. LIKE, WHAT DO WE HAVE TO DO AROUND HERE TO GET SOME SUNNY WEATHER AND PELICANS?

OH, SO YOU MEDIA OUTLETS DON'T LIKE MY USE OF THE WORD "RETARD." WELL, DEAL WITH IT. I JUST MADE THE SUPERBOWL. MY GAMES AT ANOTHER LEVEL, AND NOW MY INTERVIEWS ARE AT ANOTHER LEVEL, BOTH IN VOLUME AND VULGARITY. I LIVE MY LIFE IN THE 3 V'S. VULGARITY, VOLUME, VAGINA RECONSTRUCTION SURGERY. THE THIRD ONE OBVIOUSLY BECAUSE I AM A PRACTICED OBGYN IN THE BALTIMORE AREA. SOMETHING I QUIT THIS YEAR, BECAUSE I'M DONE PUSSY FOOTBALLING AROUND. I'M HERE TO MAKE HISTORY.

FIRST HISTORY TO BE MADE. I LIKE FAGGOTS. I'M PRO GAY AS SHIT. DEAL WITH IT MEDIAS. I'M NOT AFRAID TO PULL OUT A QUICKY ON YOU LIKE A SAILOR AND A CONSTRUCTION WORKER IN THE BATHROOM OF THE VILLAGE PEOPLE CONCERT.

SECOND HISTORY: EVOLUTION IS BULLSHIT. YOU KNOW WHY. BECAUSE THERE ARE FAGGOTS. IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE. IT JUST DOESN'T HAVE ANY EVOLUTIONARY REASONING TO STILL EXIST IN HUMAN SOCIETY. HOW YOU LIKE THAT MEDIAS.

THIRD AND FINAL HISTORY: RAY LEWIS DIDN'T USE STEROIDS. HE'S JUST NOT HIDING HIS GAYNESS THAT WELL. ALL THE CUM HE DRINKS AROUND THE LOCKER ROOM DEFINITELY SHOWS UP ON A PED TEST. NO DOUBT. SPEAKING OF NO DOUBT, NO DOUBT I WOULD TAG TEAM GWEN STEFANI IN A BATHROOM WITH A HOWLER MONEY. THAT SHIT WOULD BE BANANAS. B. A. N. A. N. A. S.

I CALL THIS MEETING ADJOURNED. FLACCO OUT.