August 27, 2010

Preseason Partying and Bullshit - Big 12

This will be the final year with 12 teams in the Big 12, which will make this conference just as bad as the Big 11. I sincerely hope the conference changes it's name to the Big 10. YOU CAN TAKE OUR TEAMS BUT WE CAN TAKE YOUR NAME. And if the Big 10 insists on keeping that ridiculously incorrect name, then we'll have two Big 10's. Suck on it.

As for this year, there will be 12 teams and the name can stay for it's final season, as Nebraska will be exiting to the Big 12(?). There, they will be constantly beaten by Ohio State, Penn State and Iowa instead of the doldrums of Texas and Oklahoma. And that's where we'll begin

Oklahoma and Texas have new quarterbacks that everyone is feeding down your throats as the top newcomers of the year, and what a ballsy prediction they have made. Two quarterbacks on two of the most talented teams in the nation. YOU'RE BLOWING MY MIND PAT FORDE.

Kansas is enjoying the fruits of a completely reorganized football/athletics department. Did I say enjoy? I meant have a tape worm from. It's all gone to shit godamnit.

Texas Tech has Tommy Tuberville who, they hope, will not employ the use of sheds to break in his freshman talent.

Nebraska and Colorado are the stupid slutty whores that dipped their pen in other conference ink. No one likes them.

No one remembers Iowa State is there.

Predictions 
Hey guys. Guys? GUYS!?!! Fuck this, the Big 10 wants me.
Nebraska learns that leaving the conference does not bode well for a team trying to win a conference championship. Someone kills a Nebraska fan who enters an away game in Cornhusker gear.

I'll do your kidz. I'll do 'em hard. And then yell Touchdown
Baylor has a black quarterback. My stance is that black means running back, but the Wildcat is the exception. I don't know if he can throw but he was good until he injured his extra Achilles tendon last year. They make a bowl game.

Oklahoma improves with the help a year of collegiate child rape for Pedo-Stache. They become the favorite to win the Big 12 and go undefeated, just to lose a heart breaking game in a BCS game.

Texas' sophomore quarterback plays like shit because he doesn't have a stache. Everyone knows the formula. Stache = Good.

Kansas surprises thanks to the HOPE given by black head coach Turner Gil. I wear a ghillie suit in appropriate word play with his last name. Bowl game is possible.

Colorado finishes last, thanks to an Iowa State beat down for the ages. Final score 2-0.

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