Preseason Partying and Bullshit - SEC

The grand finale of Preseason Partying and Bullshit ends with the best, most athletic, most talented, and most racist of them all. THE SEC. Short for non-secular of course. Because they love Jesus, and the only thing they love more than Jesus is football. And hating blacks and gays and spics and japs and wetbacks and athiests and agnostics and .... GEORGIA. FUCK 'EM. GO GATORS. YEE HAWWWW!!! (Plays washboard)

AWWWWW SHEET. MAH KNEE. SURGERY!

Tebow has left the Gators and is now pursuiting his life long dream of being a journeyman back up quarterback.

Mark Ingram has let the undeserved Heisman trophy get to his head. Getting all that attention from his knee surgery like a regular pre-madonna.

Les Miles got a shout out on True Blood last week. You know what that means? I'm gay for watching that show.


Tennessee is still pissed at Lane Kiffin, but seriously. Who would choose Knoxville over Los Angeles. If you said "I would :(" then fuck you.


Predictions

Pregame festivities at Ole Miss. GO REBELS WHOOO!

Alabama ROLLS. See what I did there. ROLL TIDE.

UFL HERE I COME. Styrofoam cups for everyone!

Florida can't keep the devil out of their soul without the help of Tebow. Urban Meyer's heart explodes as they get a third place finish. Erin Andrews cries.

South Carolina sucks cocks. middle to lower end of the league.

Georgia still misses Matty Stafford. Still suck.

LSU is better than you think because they have merged their vampire nations with Mississippi. Still referencing True Blood. Still gay.

Auburn wins some games with the FORMER HEAD COACH OF IOWA STATE AT THEIR HELM. WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK.

Ole Miss' quaterbacking drops as Jeramiah Masoli sits out a year. They do have a rise in domestic robberies though.