January 15, 2013


On Saturday, the Denver Broncos took a loss to the Ravens due to an overwhelming case of VAGINITIS. I was toying with putting a large vagina in the background of these two, but on second thought chose to put a kitten. Mostly because of how vulgar a giant vagina would look. Don't worry, I still made that photoshop. For my own edification, of course. *jerks off ferociously*

With 31 seconds left in the game and the ball with two timeouts, needing a field goal, Peyton Manning took a knee, confusing me and everyone. Such a pussified move. They ended up losing in double OT, and for good reason. Such a lack of balls will always result in a loss. And it was proven on Sunday that this was the wrong move to make. Atlanta in a similar situation ran 3 plays and got into field goal range and won against Seattle, all while presenting their large falcon testicles. Still, John Elway and John Fox agree with their sack-less decision.

There's a whole article about it on ESPN. What's sad is they had just watched a team throw a long TD pass in like 5 seconds. You just saw it happen. It's in the realm of possibility of going down the field and winning, BECAUSE IT JUST FUCKING HAPPENED. Flacco, that's right, Flacco just scored on like 2 plays. You don't think Peyton Manning has that in him? Hell, even run a draw or something. See if you can catch the defense on their toes, and then assess the possibility. The Broncos just rolled over and then they got taken to pasture. Baltimore could not have had any more momentum. Taking this to overtime would just  increase that momentum. Plus, the Raven defense was probably like "Fuck yeah, high fives bros" and wouldn't even be in the right mind to try and defend.

Anyways, moral of the story is to never act like a bitch. Because bitches get stitches, and tossed in ditches, buried under a layer of dirt, a couple inches. Finches.

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