Poor Tavaris Jackson. The kid was showing so much promise. He was only a few more snaps away from becoming a legend. If only he could hit his receivers as well as he does the turf, the Vikings would have been set. But of course, the dead have risen again. Brett fucking Farve, quite possibly his middle name by now, has caused more commotion in his years of flip-flop retirement than the entire Bush administration.
He's back again and at this point has lost all speaking credibility. Even if Brett were to tell me he eats bagels in the morning to the tune of Bruce Springsteen, I wouldn't believe him. In fact, I don't even believe he wanted to come back for football. He just wasn't happy being out of the spotlight. Of course now this is a huge story for ESPN, who already has a 3 o'clock "Outside the Lines" special set up, almost as if they were expecting it.
Since I'm in the mood to speculate today, it would almost appear that Brett is working for ESPN. The leaders in Bristol probably realized they were losing their audiences when the top story was a college baseball player signing with the least recognizable team in the league. That's when they grabbed the hotline to Brett Farve. Now it's chaos.
The power begins to shift to the NFC north, where there are three new quarterbacks. The conference is becoming a neck and neck race for the title, well excluding the Simbas. Chicago's and Green Bay's only shot now is to start wielding stakes to put through Farve's heart. Cause then and only then will the demon be defeated. Or maybe have his "on the side" girlfriend pull a murder suicide. Seems to be popular these days.