I don't read Rick Reilly. Bill Simmons' 5,000,000-word behemoths are much more digestible than the cliche, Disney-esque bullshit that Reilly spouts. His latest, which I refuse to link to, begins with the following two sentences:
You can't knock the smile off my face with a snowball. I am Optimist Prime.
Yeah, and Hitler was the greatest philanthropist of all time. You are a liar and a cynic. Go die.
Any hilarity or insight provided by this column should be credited to the page editor, who (I'm assuming) chose a great photo of Mark McGwire looking like a roided-out Nazi retard. Peep dis:
Glazed over look, arm raised high with the infamous slightly bent-thumb salute, his many admirers unquestioning applause. If Reilly sees this cup "half-full" (see the article's subhead), I hope it's a cup of cyanide that he must consume before writing his next column.