January 20, 2010

Los Angeles – the city of missing pro sports.

Many are mourning the loss of Pete Carrol in Bubbville, but some assholes still find it decent to make fun of the situation. Mainly, Pete Carroll (video after the jump, because the fucking host is fucking gay as shit and won't let me do it on this front page goddammit)

Oh, I'm Pete Carroll, and I'm taking my fun loving self to Seattle, and as a parting present, I'll just leave this video with you guys, because, I'm a douche.

Now, I don't go to USC or even know their fight song, or why a 70's era hand gesture is their "thing," but I do know that Will Ferrel likes the Trojans, just as many other LA-ers do, without even a rejection letter from the school. I feel, this video hits the nail on the head, with fans of USC who are just USC fans because they are in LA. They don't cheer for the Trojan basketball team. They don't go to the impressively good Trojan baseball team games. They just want football, unlike other cities that have clearly given up on their organizations, or GM's that have clearly given up on their cities.

Of course, LA is clearly in need of a football team. No one wants to drive the few hours south to watch the Chargers Chokers. No one wants to drive north and see all the goths and gays. They need their own team. Buffalo, go to LA. Jacksonville, you go to LA. St. Louis, go to LA. All of Detroit, MOVE TO FUCKING LA AND QUIT COMPLAINING.

Of course, if a team were to move to the greater SC area, there would need to be a new team name, because Jaguars aren't even in America and the Buffalo's were killed by my ancestors. I like the name, the Spirit. Sure, it's the title of a shitty movie (with great Eva Mendes body though), but it is fucking perfect. Los Angeles is the city of Angels (aka spirits), and what to spirits travel in? SMOG. ITS GODDAMN BRILLIANT.

Furthermore, it would reduce crime, because everyone knows people sell the most drugs on Sundays, because how else are you supposed to sit through church? Just ask Rush Limbaugh.

So just to reiterate, Spirits move from a shitty city to a fault laden one, bringing along revenue, lower crime, and pro football, so douches like the one above can stop clinging on the their early twenties and become more like this guy.

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