January 19, 2010

Tyga trying to lower his boners

Last time we left Tyga, he was just a minor nymphomaniac. Just as a lower level pot distributor would be. Now, we are talking large piles of weed sex. We knew he was railin bitches right and left, but no one expected him to be such a sex panther, so much a sex panther that he has checked into sex rehab. I smell reality show.

So Tiger, when you look at this picture what do you see?

Tiger - I see a bitch.

Woah Tiger. That's not how we treat women. They are people just like you and me. Sure, they can't drive, and don't have the twigs and berries, but they have the same capabilities as a man.

Tiger - No, she is a bitch. She fucking smashed my five wood into my car. That's the defenition of a bitch.

Tiger, I see you have trust issues.

Tiger - What?

Yeah, you are just don't trust her with your personal items.

Tiger - ...

Listen. I took Introduction to Psych at Johnson County Community College. I know what I am talking about.

Tiger - ...

You went to Stanford, and god forbid you get any pussy there. Too many books. Too many gays. Just too much not pussy. So, you lashed out against your sexless world and went to the PGA early, and then used your PGA tour card as a way to gather V-cards. Then you got married, and you couldn't control your urges. You just sexed on.

Tiger - Sure. That sounds about right.

So, let's smoke some pot and jack it to Ellen Page.

Tiger - ...

It will make you less likely to have sex with so many sluts afterwards. That way, you only do classy chicks who won't tell on you to TMZ. Got it?

Tiger - NIGGA YES!

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