March 26, 2010

This is Madness... THIS IS DRINKING GAMES - Sweet 16 (2)

Night two of drinking without restrictions but with guidelines that make sure your liver will fail to support you past 40. Tonight has some good games ... for drinking. They all suck entirely sober, but once alcohol is added, maybe you can pull yourself to liking a team. Nah. Cheer for Evan Turner or something. These games are just a shitbin of depressing. You can blame Northern Iowa for that one. Michigan State and Kansas would be good. FUCKING PURPLE TEAMS.

This time you drink one for every foul committed by the favourites (I'm European now) and one for every tournover (EUROPE) by the underdogs.

I look like a raptor. HISSSS!

–Mentioning of Evan Turner as player of the year = 2 drinks
–Bruce Pearl is wearing his orange suit = 5 drinks and 2 if it's just and orange tie
–Wayne Chism's head band falls off = 3 drinks
–Mentioning of the '07 Ohio State team = 4 drinks and finish the case if they mention Greg Oden's penis
–Tennessee wins = Sing "Rocky Top" and drink for every missed word from the song.

Fly like a butterfly sting like Acy.
BAYLOR VS ST. MARY'S - 7:27 et

–Mention of Omar Sahman being fearless = 2 drinks
–LaceDarius Dunn takes guarded three = 2 drinks + 1 if good
–Ekpe Udoh get's a block and totally pisses off Sahman = 4 drinks
–Mention that Sahman has a mom who picked them to go to the sweet 16, although that is what every mom would do and shouldn't even be news = 5 drinks
–If St. Mary's wins = kill yourself, and drink 10 for the 10 commandments.
Watch out, he'll use his retard strength.


–Shot of Kalin Lucas pouting on the bench = 2 drinks
–Mention of the huge contract given to UNI coach Ben Jacobsen = 2 drinks
–Mention of the Kansas upset = 1 for words and 3 for video montage
–Raymar Morgan underachieves = drink at discretion
–You hate your life because KU is still out of the tournament = drink liter of Everclear
–Northern Iowa wins = kill yourself again, and shot gun a beer. Then pump stomach.

Does crying blood mean I'm a vampire?

DUKE VS PURDUE - 9:57 et

–Robbie Hummel injury reference = 2 drinks
–Christian Laettner reference = 5 drinks
Jason Williams wrecks his motor cycle into the stadium = 90 drinks.
–Mention of Coach K being the US olympic team coach = 3 drinks
–Mention that Drew Brees was the QB at Purdue before winning Super Bowl = 4 drinks
–Purdue pulls this one out of their ass = end your liquor supply. Then go to bed a happy man/woman/tranny.

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