April 2, 2010

NCAA: the jews of the sports world

Everyone is all pissed at the NCAA today. Like really pissed. Like hatchet serial killing pissed. You know why? Because of THIS GUY.
Looks like a tool. Dresses like a tool. Probably talks like a tool, and is a fucking tool. A tool that the NCAA higher ups wield to fuck up our very nice microburst filled Friday. Nobody likes this guy. I mean come on. Just look at him. He is the definition of douche. Go ahead. Look it up.

Douche(n): A person who oozes douchiness or is named Greg Shaheen.

This Greg Shaheen is set out to destroy our innocence with the only tool this tool possesses – PR TACTICS. Ask him a question, and get ready for him to divert that shit. He's the Cole Aldrich of dodging questions. Swatting every difficult question right to the sidelines. He is a dick. Literally the definition of dick.

Dick(n): Penis or Richard or Greg Shaheen.

And what is he using his PR tactics for? Would you like it if I said evil schemes? No. No you wouldn't. THIS FUCKER. Let me tell ya. THIS FUCKER IS PRO-96. 96 teams in one tournament. That's what he wants you to accept with his arsenal of endless PR tricks.

Asshole(n): Someone who is an ass or Greg Shaheen.

First of all, the basic concept of 96 teams is ludicrous. You want play-in games for a 64 team field? Seriously? And just the logistics alone make no sense, even to Mr. DoucheDickAsshole up there. In a press conference yesterday, he literally just sat there and disproved John Feinstein (JEWISH) of the Washington Post for 3 questions that were quite obvious. Then he has the nerve to come on to Kansas City's sports radio station and DO THE SAME FUCKING THING.

Then lets get to the money aspect. Most know the NCAA is doing this to increase the purchase price of their broadcasting rights when the deal goes out in two or three years. This should make sense, but fuck that it doesn't. Because, when you expand that tournament, which is already long, but at least is spread out perfecty, 50% larger, you start to get weary eyes from the viewers. Especially the ones that are there for their bracket. Who the fuck will sit down and pick 96 teams on a bracket, and then watch every one of the 95 games and their ads just to see if you wrote down the right names. Oh, and did I mention that 88 of those games will be played in just 10 days.

This is why I'm in business school. To smoke cigars.
This is simple cannibalization. That's fancy business school terms for one of your products stealing consumers from your other products. The fact is, as they expand the field, you'll see that people will be more selective and not give a shit stain for games that don't include their team. Especially when the majority of the games will be moved to Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday. People work in this country from what I hear. Can't watch games when your at work, unless you work with THIS GUY.

So, why the fuck would advertisers be lined up to get these ad spots bought up. There is no doubt in my mind that after the first year of this, ad sales will decline. No doubt. And when that money dries up, look who's out of a job. THIS GUY.

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