December 12, 2009

Turnering a new stone

Just released tonight, from multiple sources, was the name of the University of Kansas' new coach. This time, instead of beating anorexia, we are beating racial profiling, and I love it. A perfect fit. He is a square peg in a square hole. He has the resume, the recruiting of Texas, and player management. Probably the best reason he fits in here, though, is that we already know he looks great.. blue.

My boy, and my coach, Turner Gill. Now, time for a nickname. There are ways to go with his name. It's perfect. Turner can go many ways. Such as lower our Turnerovers, or let's get some Turnerovers. Gill is also good. Gilli suit. CarGill. MackGrill. That's all I got. But I love him.

Turner, if you remember but I don't because I wasn't even concieved yet, was an All-American QB at Nebraska, where he lost to the Miami Hurricanes in the National Championship in '84. He spent his early coaching career in Nebraska where he coached the QB's and WR's in the early 00's when he coached Tim Couch and helped lead those Nebraska teams to two National Championships.

He then took his badass to Buffalo where he started 2-10 in '06. Two year later he had a MAC championship after beating the undefeated Ball State in the championship game. He is a man. HE IS A FOOTBALL PLAYER! Dammit Jon Gruden. I told you not to type on my keyboard. Anyways, that Buffalo team hadn't won a MAC championship EVER.

Oh, and did I mention he is from Texas? He is. He's perfect. He's the Obama to everyone else's McCain. He wins in every way possible. He is our man, and he will be our man for a long time. Turner is only 47. Plenty of time to catch up to Joe Paterno. Plenty of time. I extend my hand to you Turner, and let's win the damn Big 12 North for once.


Did I mention he nabbed Chuck Long for our Offensive Coordinator. Fuck, and YES. We aren't losing a game ever again. IN ANY SPORT!

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